Date: March 12, 2012 2:50 PM
Chapter number: 5
Title: Shadows on Your Side
interesting story!
Date: March 12, 2012 2:50 PM
Chapter number: 5
Title: Shadows on Your Side
seriously soooooooooo many ? wtf ahhhhhhhhhhhh this stinks but i like the story i just wish u didnt end it on a cliffhanger. wavin like an idiot
-lilly
Date: March 12, 2012 2:47 PM
Chapter number: 6
Title: Lonely in Your Nightmare
aww... thats sad about his mother but at least Inu's and Kags relationship is starting to be something more
Date: March 12, 2012 2:46 PM
Chapter number: 6
Title: Lonely in Your Nightmare
As I said on your site already, wonderful chapter. Yes, I actually reread it :3 And I'm about go read the other ones.
I remember reviewing on your site though and I also remember asking you to post here if you could... So while I can't know for sure if I was the only one who did it, if in your A/N you meant me, then I want to thank you a thousand times over for actually doing it, especially considering what a real hassle it was for you. Though I have to wonder why you'd have such problems...
Anyway, thanks again for posting it here and once gain, beautiful fic. now, on to chapters I haven't yet read XD
Date: March 12, 2012 2:46 PM
Chapter number: 6
Title: Lonely in Your Nightmare
Wait- what? Is it my birthday? O _ O
You know how excited I am? I haven't even read the chapter yet, and I'm reviewing, that's what XP
Well, that and I'm not sure I have time to read all of it right now, finals and all... But you better believe I'll try XD
- DoP ^ - ~
Date: March 12, 2012 2:45 PM
Chapter number: 7
Title: Save a Prayer
'Leaning against the wind, feeling weightless' - very beautiful imagery, definitely adds to InuYasha's fragile state at the seaside. I hope InuYasha gets to meet his mother before he dies, I really do. It's just too sad to let her die without ever seeing him again (so to speak).
Not that it would be horrible to go a fic without him, but I've been (subconsciously) trying to come up with a scenario where Sesshoumaru exists here somewhere XP
I mean, if InuPapa was previously married, he'd be kind of a dick to do what he did, even if were out of love. But for Sesshoumaru to be YOUNGER than InuYasha... well, that's just wrong... on so many levels... (though it would probably make for a hilarious segway).
Anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself, see you next chapter!
- DoP ^ - ~
Date: March 12, 2012 2:45 PM
Chapter number: 7
Title: Save a Prayer
aww. it ends here. I want more... but it is a good place to stop i guess... I was so into it. lol
Date: March 12, 2012 2:44 PM
Chapter number: 8
Title: Epilogue: The Flavor of Life
After I saw that you updated 'Loved' on ffnet as well, I decided to reread the updates and as expected - they put a huge smile on my face. Now, I'm going to bed with this silly grin and I have a feeling I'll sleep better than usual tonight. XD
Date: March 12, 2012 2:43 PM
Chapter number: 8
Title: Epilogue: The Flavor of Life
I'm SO glad you finished updating this! And what a GREAT ending! Thank you so much!
Date: March 12, 2012 2:43 PM
Chapter number: 8
Title: Epilogue: The Flavor of Life
Wow. I'll be honest; I totally forgot about this story. D: Don't hate me! But seriously! I'm going to have to go back and give it a reread at some point.. because I forgot a lot of what happened. =[
Still, the way you wrapped up here was definitely lovely compared to the angst previously.. so woohoo at that.
Anyway, I'm not really doing it justice with this review compared to all the work you put into finishing this one, but it's just been ages! Thanks for finishing it, :)
Date: March 12, 2012 2:42 PM
Chapter number: 8
Title: Epilogue: The Flavor of Life
That epislogue was kind of sad at the beginning, but the ending was so awesomely cute and great that it actually brought tears to my eyes. And believe me, that doesn't happen often :3 I loved every zecond of this story and I want to thank you a million times over (if not more) for writing this fic. It's really amazing and I can't help loving it. It was really one of the best fiction I have EVER read. Thanks again for sharing :]
Date: March 12, 2012 2:41 PM
Chapter number: 8
Title: Epilogue: The Flavor of Life
wonderful story... really liked it... nice happy ending... good job... great work!
Date: March 12, 2012 2:39 PM
Chapter number: 8
Title: Epilogue: The Flavor of Life
Ridiculously cute ending, still sad about InuYasha's mother though. I've always had a love/hate relationship with your stories. The lovey-dovey sappy part of it is ridiculously cute, while the tragedies are whole, deep, unrelenting, and REAL *sigh*
I'm starting to think it may be a good thing you don't update your FF.net account that often, as your stories are my secret indulgence that always leave me so emotionally drained...
Ah well. Still looking forward to your next updates though -^ - ^-
Sin cere,
- DoP ^ - ~
Date: March 12, 2012 2:38 PM
Chapter number: 8
Title: Epilogue: The Flavor of Life
Thanks so much for finishing this wonderful story! I fell in love with it when i first read it, now i'm so happy i got to finish it! Great plot and writing quality is off the charts!
-Aeli ^^
Date: March 12, 2012 2:37 PM
Chapter number: 8
Title: Epilogue: The Flavor of Life
I'm so glad you finished this story I have been reading ur
Absolution wenbsite stories for the last
Week
And I am so amazed a how talented u are
Cant wait to read mOre
Jessica
Date: March 12, 2012 2:28 PM
Chapter number: 8
Title: Epilogue: The Flavor of Life
So great! Loved it :)
Date: March 12, 2012 2:27 PM
Chapter number: 8
Title: Epilogue: The Flavor of Life
I happened to decide randomly to look through some fics and jumped to random pages. I'm so very glad I stumbled to yours! The spelling and grammar were mostly good-as I almost always do, I suggest beta assistance if you want to raise the quality a little (look hard and find one who works WITH you and meshes well with your personal writing style, hm? ~_^) Hmm...I found the characters a little OOC...but that's sort of NECESSARY in order to make a successful AU! I thought the adaptions to their new universe were well-wrought, but the transition and trust happened impossibly quickly. Still, like Hollywood movies, fanfictions can't always be realistic, time-wise, if they're going to stay short enough to be easy to get through. All-in-all, I think these criticisms are constructive and accurate...but reasonable deviations with the goal of putting a short and enjoyable ficlet together.
Really, though-I felt I had to review. Lately it's been some hard times, for me. Sometimes a little fluff with enough sugar to be candy floss can go a long way. Thanks for the hope-sometimes just one happy thought can be the initiator in a radical chain reaction of hope. You seemed to have enjoyed writing, and I hope you've continued, as practice will improve your skill and help you to develop your style. I hope the passion and creativity have never left you!
Take care, hm?
~TheWonderfulShoe
Date: March 12, 2012 2:27 PM
Chapter number: 8
Title: Epilogue: The Flavor of Life
Nice. Really enjoyed this tender romance. Someone had to play villain, but I was glad it wasn't the General. Always felt like the great love of Inuyasha's parents was somehow his salvation in the canon story since it gives him some ability to overcome the hatred he was raised with
Date: March 12, 2012 2:26 PM
Chapter number: 8
Title: Epilogue: The Flavor of Life
what a sweet epilogue. I love happy endings! Thanks for finishing the story
Date: March 12, 2012 2:26 PM
Chapter number: 8
Title: Epilogue: The Flavor of Life
I just wanted to say thank you for writing this :) its so refreshing to see a story that ISN'T "Kagome's poor, Inuyasha's rich, Inuyasha saves Kagome!" For once Kagome got to help Inuyasha :) it was really wonderful and i enjoyed reading every second of it!
Date: March 12, 2012 2:25 PM
Chapter number: 8
Title: Epilogue: The Flavor of Life
omgg... too good. too goodddd. I LOVE IT! :')
Date: March 12, 2012 2:17 PM
Chapter number: 1
Title: Cracks in the Pavement
I'm more interested in this story than I should be. At least, that's what my brain is telling me. The rest of me is urging me on to the next chapter!
Your penname doesn't give you enough credit. No, really! I know that sounds strange. But I thought, "Eh, major fangirl" when I saw that penname. And then I look at the story, and I'm like, HOLY FRISBEES, BATMAN. This chica can write!
Your way with writing dialogue is just spot-on. I love that you referenced a show as old as MacGuyver, even if you only know it via the Simpsons (or whatever show it was you said references it). My siblings and I watched a lot of MacGuyver growing up, so that got a chuckle out of me!
Your references to modern(ish) pop culture/etc are nice. They don't feel out of place at all, and are nice touches.
In other words, your dialogue just flows smoothly, feels real, et cetera. I'm very impressed. Not many people have such a skill at writing dialogue. :)
That said, the plot is pretty interesting, and I don't even know exactly what it is. But I can guess! I have a feeling this is going to be one of those really bittersweet stories. But I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with!
Cheers,
Manna
Date: March 12, 2012 2:16 PM
Chapter number: 2
Title: I Take the Dice
["This is not over Dick Dastardly!(3) I'll have my revenge yet!"] I now fully expect a reference to Penelope Pitstop!
[It had always been her opinion that blind dates were the pinnacle of desperation and she avoided them like a cold sore.] Oh, God. Blind dates. D: They are not so much the pinnacle of desperation, seeing as how people just adore hooking up their friends, but they are the pinnacle of death and destruction and horribleness. :|
I have to say that I'm pretty excited (still) to see where this story is going! I usually don't get so involved in 'fics, but damn if your writing hasn't sucked me in! I should be learning something from you. Maybe I am! I can only hope. I'm so out of practice with writing since I've been stuck at home for far, far too long. Boo on work injuries rendered permanent! :(
My creative juices have all dried up. But maybe InuYasha can revive them a bit, eh? Your story is sure helping!
Cheers,
Manna
PS. That was one damn fast response to my first review, by the way.
Date: March 12, 2012 2:13 PM
Chapter number: 3
Title: My Own Way
I should be getting to sleep, but...alas, I cannot tear my eyes away. My back wouldn't bother to let me sleep, anyway. Heh.
["You don't know this man from a can of paint. Heck, you don't even know if anyone there will remember him. He moved into that halfway house when he was eighteen years old, Kagome. That was almost a decade ago!"] You know, one of the reasons I like this is because the characters aren't teenagers. It's really nice to see adult characters. You don't even know. Not that I have anything against teens, because, hello, the anime/manga. But it's been a long time since I first saw InuYasha, and you know, I've gotten a lot older, myself. I'm not even a teenager anymore! (I am not sad about that ONE BIT.)
Also, Kagome following an almost decade-old lead? Intriguing to say the least. I'll admit I can't stop reading.
Damn you!
Sango and Kagome's friendship is written really well, by the way. It makes me smile. It also makes me remember having friends around/close to me when I was younger. A good feeling. Good memories. :)
["Welp, it won't be just a job; it will be a craptastic adventure!" he grimly joked as the truck bounced around. "Sort of like my entire fucking life."] First, it's great to finally see InuYasha! Second, this is really sad. But so believable. I saw that one of your reviewers said something along the lines of being glad this wasn't another "InuYasha is rich, Kagome is poor" type thing, and I agree WHOLEHEARTEDLY. Sorry for the capslock. You know I'd use italics if FFN reviews allowed that.
Seriously, though: I don't like to torture characters, or whatever it is that people call it these days. But I like to think about their situations realistically. And InuYasha isn't exactly a wealthy man in the anime/manga, so there's no reason he would be in an AU, either, y'know? Not that he can't be, because sometimes that can be interesting, too. It's just that it's nice to see things switched up. I feel him being given the short end of the stick? Is about as true to the canon as you can get.
That said, the foster care theme of this story is heartbreaking, I hope you know. (You probably do. I'm assuming it was your intent!)
[InuYasha had legally become an adult, and just like a maxed out debit card] So damn sad. :( Also, his EIGHTH stop? The poor guy. But to be honest, I'm not overly surprised. I know Jennings Michael Burch's autobiography (They Caged the Animals at Night) showed how he went from foster home to foster home...and his family was still around. A sad story with a hopeful ending, but still, it must have been a rough life.
[InuYasha knew with certainty that every act of benevolence was accrued to be exploited at some point. He just wanted to avoid the game.] The poor kid.
I love how the flashback is just...really short. You know? You're not telling everything in a giant infodump. (I'm being annoying by studying how you write so that I can learn something. Hah.)
I love how you used Goshinki, by the way. A nice touch!
[the population count was less than five digits.] Haha, coming from a town of less than five-thousand myself...I can picture this.
[the bank foreclosed shortly after Kaede's sunset] Using sunset to describe death? I LOVE IT. Also, I knew that was going to happen. (I mean, not just her death, but the foreclosure.)
[InuYasha beamed. That would be 14 days of steady work -enough to fill his fridge and take care of his bills. "Yes, absolutely! Thanks for the opportunity!"] Holy crap. Seeing thankful!InuYasha is a pleasant thing, indeed, if I do say so myself!
[While he would cut out his tongue before he'd ever admit it, a girl that looked like her would have been torched into his memory.] HAHAHA. Ahh, good old InuYasha. :D
And of course, the ending to this chapter is adorable. Dammit. I will never get to bed at this rate!
Cheers,
Manna
Date: March 12, 2012 2:09 PM
Chapter number: 5
Title: Shadows on Your Side
[He was fast, but not fast enough; she spied the Batman underoos.] Okay. I laughed. I was smiling at the whole "fumbling" thing he was doing at the door, too. So cute.
[InuYasha didn't respond; the fact that she had a car was a glaring example of how little they had in common.] This. Is. Sad. :(
[He wasn't about to complain, though; there were too many others in worse shape.] Now that you mention it, InuYasha isn't really the complaining type. I mean, not about himself, really. It's sort of complicated, but...yeah, I see where that comes from. I never thought of that before.
["Who, me? Not a word." 'I could just die!'] That would be...beyond embarrassing.
[You're six hours away in a strange man's house, Kags. This is so dangerous I could spit!] Oh, Sango. I love you.
[His lips formed a vexed line. InuYasha had no delusions about himself; he wasn't a guy that women wanted.] This is sad, but I can't deny that it makes perfect sense. I can easily see how he'd take what she said wrong. He has some serious self-esteem issues, but I can see more of the story's plot emerging, now, and I think I get the gist a bit better than I did when I first started reading.
[At twenty-seven years old, many single males were settling down and starting their families, but where was he?] I'm not 27 (will be 25 next month), but I ask myself this every. Single. Day. Facebook is pretty much the bane of my existence with all my old high school acquaintances posting picture of their husbands/wives/babies up there. Nothing like that to make you feel like a loser.
Lucky for me, InuYasha has it worse.
[College educated, too? Noooo, he didn't feel dumber.] SADFACE. Yeah, Kagome's even making me look bad...
But I loved the bit about him liking ramen. ;_; Puts a whole new spin on his love for it from the show.
[Subject change. Now.] HAHAHA, yeah, I'd say so. I was laughing. Poor Kagome. Sometimes saying the wrong thing just...yeah. Been there, done that.
[Her concern was endearing. 'Gome, I'll be fine. There's only one bed, and unless you want to share it, I'm gonna have to make due."] Poor. InuYasha. Just saying. Also, the pet name is cute!
["And you avoid a lot of questions," Kagome shot back, licking his fingers and waggling her brows.] LOL, I think you meant...licking HER fingers... Though I have to admit, the way it is does making eating more erotic. :P
["I've been wearing them since I was six."] Hah. This reminds me of someone I used to work with. The guy never took his hat off. Hell, nobody had ever SEEN him with his hat off. That hat was like his LIFELINE. We speculated that he was balding or something, but... We also speculated that he was toothless since he never smiled, but we were wrong about the latter... :P
Then again, a moment later she's doing just that. Hahaha.
Personally...that seems a little OOC to me considering how they were portrayed earlier. But I'll just chalk it up to becoming...uh...fast friends. ;)
Cheers,
Manna