Beyond Redemption

Today’s Confession…

A lot of people don’t see it because I’m loud when I’m amongst friends, but yeah. I’m a loner and fairly anti-social. Always have been. It has a lot to do with my shyness, I’m sure, but it also has to do with the fact that I’m perfectly happy in my own little world. I don’t get people that want to be on the phone and instant messenger, and social networks every minute of their lives. I’m just… not interested. Do I use Facebook? Yeah, but I go days, sometimes weeks, at a time without posting/reading anything.

I rarely use IM (except with my Kau). I almost never touch my phone (socially). I rarely go out partying or whatever. I’ve done all that stuff before and I’m over it. I’m a homebody who is at her best when she’s just chillin’ and doing her own thing. I know people want to e-mail all the time and be chatty, and I don’t really mind that, but I have carpal tunnel. A lot of excess typing kills me. Sometimes I go days between replies, but it’s not rudeness. I’m usually either really busy, or my hands hurt. Some people mistake it for being aloof or stuck up, but it’s really that I’m painfully shy and don’t have a lot to say.

Everyone I’m friends with approached me first. Seriously. I’ve never been one to just strike up a conversation in an attempt to make a new friend. Shyness kills that, plus, I know I don’t always feel like ‘talking’. So rather than appear shifty and fairweather, I just keep to myself. I also don’t extend the hand of friendship first because, in this fandom, I’ve been shown more than once that a lot of people don’t approach “purely”. They have an ulterior motive that they’ll attempt to execute at a later date, or they think you have some kind of ‘name’ in a fandom, so they’ll latch on to be part of the “it” crowd. Only, that shit is wasted on me because I’m a loner, lol. THERE ARE NO MINIONS TO SPEAK OF.

Anyway, yeah, that’s my confession. I’m anti-fucking-social with a low tolerance for bullshit. lol.

/Confession.