Hump Day Confessional: I’m Not Over It.
Today’s Confession…
September 7th marks the anniversary of my mother’s death, and no, all these years later, I’m still not over it. I know some people don’t understand, or maybe they do, but still think I should be able to just “move on” from that. They’re fucking naive. How does an only child simply move on from the grief of losing her only parent? How does a daughter just move on from the shock and devastation of being the one to find her mother’s body?
How does that even fucking compute?
I grew up in a single-parent household. My parents divorced when I was two. (It’s fine; I don’t care if he is alive or dead. It wouldn’t change my day at all.) My mom and I were tight, because as far as immediate family goes, we were all we had. So yes, when her anniversary or birthday comes around I feel it. The weeks leading up to that day, especially the anniversary, always grows dimmer and dimmer until I’m completely dark. Everyone in my inner circle knows that. It isn’t something I schedule; it’s something that just happens and it’s beyond my control. I grow very quiet, moody, and distant. Sometimes, I disappear altogether. They know why and they understand.
So, this is for people who don’t know me well, or who are only just meeting me. I become a different person by the end of August and I’m not really myself again until mid September. Don’t take it personally.
/Confession.
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