Hump Day Confessional: Why am I Still Here, Again? o____O
Today’s confession…
It’s coming up on my 8th anniversary as InuGrrrl. Yup, 8 fucking years. I always thought I’d stop at 6, then 7, now, here we are, at 8. Where did the time go? Is it bad that I can pretty much remember everything that happened for -AND TO- me in this fandom since that day in 2005? Not all of it was bad, as I just implied. I made some great friends, met cool writers and artists, and wrote –the fuck– out of InuYasha with passion and happiness. He was like a drug and I needed a hit everyday, which is why I have carpal tunnel now. lol.
Then, of course, there were the shitty things that happened: Fake friends, random haters, plagiarists, petty jealousies -all the shit that makes up the cancer of every fandom. But as you can see, I overcame all that and I’m still here, doing what I want to do like I always have.
But I have to be honest; I should have long stopped writing IY fanfic for various reasons: My hands, lack of interest, lack of appreciation, theft, etc. It stopped being worth it a while ago. I only write for my fans and the hope of completing the stories they’ve followed for so long. I used to write tons and finish my fics with consistency, but as shit took its toll and interest slowly died, I just stopped wanting to do anything, really.
I started taking monster hiatuses, updating sporadically, getting strict at Absolution, and becoming fed up with assholes who thought they had a right to judge me because a friend of a friend of a friend said they didn’t “like” me for some reason (Was I supposed to give a shit about that?) or “critique” my fics because someone lied to them and told them they were an authority. On anything at all. That ridiculousness is was what led to the locking of Absolution -along with plagiarism and leeches who thought they were too whatever to leave a review (Btw, I don’t regret locking my site for a moment. Not one moment).
But, I digress.
The point of this post is that I feel like I should have stopped writing IY fics already and I’m kinda stunned that I haven’t. I’m the ‘pick up and leave’ type. I usually don’t make any noise bout it – I just vanish one day like I was never around. It isn’t too late to do just that, but at least now I’d feel a teensy bit guilty and that makes a totally unannounced vanishing a little less likely. A little.
/Confession.
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