Beyond Redemption

I have stories to write, yet all I wanna do is read manga right now. Fuck.

And if you haven’t signed the petition for Trayvon Martin, DO THE RIGHT THING.

There’s a lot I want to -and will- say about this, but not tonight. For now, I’ll just say that anyone with children in their lives (don’t have to be yours) should be signing this petition and helping to put a stop to racial profiling and child murders. No kid should be stalked and murdered just 3 weeks after his 17th birthday when he was only trying to go home and watch the All-Star game on TV.

I lost another friend. She passed away on July 10th, but I found out today, on her birthday. I knew she was sick. She’d been battling cancer for a long time and her last messages to me were grave, yet, as always, still very brave. That’s who she was. The bravest person I’d ever met because she was slowly being ravaged by a disease that didn’t have a cure and still found it in her to greet everyone with a smile and a cheerful word. She was special, and oh, so wonderful.

Her name was JessieAngel and “Pas De Deux“, and later, “Age of Innocence” were her stories. I dedicated AoI to her because she told me that she really enjoyed it. She enjoyed it because it gave her hope that her daughter and husband would have a good life when she was gone and meet someone who will love them and care for them in her stead.

I’m crying and devastated that Jessie’s been called back to God so soon. She would have only been 30 today. I never even got to finish either fic, though I was trying hard to complete Pas De Deux before something happened… I’ll always feel awful for that, but I know she’s still with us in spirit, so I will finish those stories and pray that she’s happy in Heaven.

Rest well, Princess.

Welp, it’s been a couple of days since I’ve updated with stuff other than strictly MJ news, so happy belated 4th of July. I hope y’all had fun and did the whole bbq thing.

Yesterday was Neo’s birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NEO!!) and I wanted to write something for her. She chose Inu-cest with a splash of angst, and I kinda shocked myself because I wrote it under 2 hours. Shit, it was almost a reminder of just how fast I can update when I really want to, lol. But seriously, it was nice to be able to do something for someone that has tirelessly done so many things for me. And she actually liked it, so that made me smile. —> 😀 See?

The story is called “Tempest” and it’s a 1700 word ficlet with a little angst and smut. If you like yaoi, you may enjoy it. I’m still new to boylove, and most of my lovelies don’t read that, so I don’t expect many to acknowledge it. But I had a great time writing it, which is always a treat. I like writing Loved, too, and it’s awesome because it’s been so long since I’ve actually liked writing…

Speaking of, the next chapter of “Loved” is in its final stages. (I’m sorry this took so long, Lily, though I know you’ll just laugh and tell me not to rush myself. lol.) I really wanted to have it finished last week, but I admit, the MJ thing hit me really hard and I lost all concentration for writing. I’m trying to have chapter 3 posted today because tomorrow I may not be any good. As the planet already knows, tomorrow is Michael’s memorial service, and essentially, our last chance to say goodbye. So there’s a good chance that I’ll be upset and not in the mood to do much besides mourn. Mhmm, I was a major fan even if I didn’t share that little obsession with y’all. I have all of his albums, dvds, videos -you name it.

*pictures myself dancing around in my drawers to Smooth Criminal* 😛

Saying farewell for good will be hard on us fans, but God called him home and all we can do is wait to see him again someday. The service will be at the Staples Center and televised on most major networks if you want to see it. I wish I could have gone, but 1.6 million people tried to get 11,000 tickets; there was just no way, lol. Shows the power of a true king. I just hope the service does him justice and they don’t let it turn into something unsavory -which is easy to accomplish with Joe Jackson, the douche, around.

Then there’s the battle over his estate. I know some people have issues with the Jacksons and think they were all just horrible to Mike and that’s why they were cut from the will. I don’t personally believe that. I think there may have been a little strife with his brothers, but it’s pretty plain that he loved his sisters and mother (Though LaToya is a waste of skin). Now, a court has ruled that his estate be handled by two guys who are not family (and Mike is to blame for that) and it’s pretty clear that they have designs to get their hands on his assets, money, and the vault of unreleased songs he made to generate profit for themselves. I mean, why else would they balk at being asked to keep Katherine, his mother, in the loop on all decisions regarding his things? It’s a farce that his earnings may end up in the hands of two men that did nothing to help him acquire them when they should go to his mother and children, whom he loved dearly. What bullshit.

And you know the fight for the kids is coming. I’m sure that glorified surrogate already sees dollar signs, but I’m sure Katherine is ready to fight a war on that. Michael said in his will that he wanted his mother to raise them and if that’s not a tooth and nail battle cry, then nothing is.

On to other stuff. The FA awards just ended, so congrats to all of the winners. I’ll be updating the website today and preparing the awards to be handed out (You know, labeling and such) and then I’m done, for the most part. I’ll be announcing what that means on the FA site after the term officially closes.

Challenge Destiny is doing well. The first prompt brought more entries than I expected, so that was nice. If you’re not a member and would like to be, go ahead. I didn’t restrict it to ED authors. I’ll also be figuring out what the prize is for FOTM since that’s only 3 weeks away. There’s a good chance that it may be something online; I’m busy this month and don’t really want to spend time holed up in the post office.

Eternal Destiny is doing well, too. I’m already planning what the Sept. skin will look like, and of course, on Sept. 1st the Destined Awards start. There will also be a little treat to go with that and I hope everyone enjoys it, but that’s all I’m going to say for now. Official announcements will go up when I open nominations.

Allrighty, it’s time to get started on this FA stuff. Oh,a nd there are tiebreaker polls going on. So if you’re a member, please go vote so we can close this term! 😛

I got a great surprise tonight: I heard an awesome MJ Tribute song. Apparently, The Game, Puffy, Chris Brown, and Boyz II Men got together and made a song for the king. “Better on the Other Side“. I love it; they did an awesome job. Here is the video from Youtube and if anyone wants a copy of the song, hit me up.

All weekend I kept the TV jumping from Vh1 to Mtv, as they were showing MJ videos everyday and it was such a great way to remember him. I watched his “short films” and listened to his music regularly, but they showed some that I didn’t have in my possession (and I have many!), so it was a lot of fun. Of course, it was really depressing, too.

I still can’t believe he’s gone, and a lot of the feeling of devastation is because I’ve never had one of my idols pass away before. Those that know me know Janet is my favorite, but MJ was actually first, so this hits hard (Now I understand Beatles and Elvis fans). I still have more CDs, DVDs, and other stuff of his than hers, but I’ve seen her in concert a bunch of times while I never got to see him. That really fucking sucks because now I’ll never have that chance. *sigh*

Anyway, I watched the BET awards last night, and while they can stand to put it together a bit better every year, I liked that in a matter of 3 days they transformed it into a memorial for him. It was just this massive celebration and it was wonderful to see how he was loved. I particularly loved Jamie Foxx’s opening statement:

“No need to be sad. We are going to celebrate this black man – this black man. He belongs to us, and we shared him with everybody else.”

It also seemed that everyone was adding little MJ touches to their performances, and the show opener was New Edition (with Bobby Brown O.O), who did a medley of Jackson 5 songs, including my two faves: “I Want You Back” and “The Love You Save“. However, someone has to tell Ricky that the days of hitting high notes are over. >.>

Ne-Yo did a lovely rendition of “The Lady in My Life” (You can hear that one on Absolution), which is one of the most romantic songs EVER and a long time fave off the Thriller CD. Jamie kept us laughing because he kept coming on stage in different MJ outfits (Beat it, Billie Jean, Thriller) and at the end, he and Ne-Yo sang “I’ll Be There” (Jackson 5) as they showed a montage of photos on the big screen.

But what brought tears to my eyes (besides the finale) was when Janet took the stage. She looked beautiful in her white outfit, but there was so much pain on her face. She came to thank everyone and said all of the family wanted to come, but it was too painful for them (Joe Jackson did show, but he never took the stage). Her voice was breaking and I just knew she was going to cry. It was pretty emotional.

But all in all, it was a nice tribute, and I know other music awards will follow suit when they come around. Some of the performances, though… (and this isn’t about Mike-oriented stuff) were brow-raising. Like Beyonce’s. WTF was she actually attempting up there? Opera? It was awful, as was that terrible “fairy” outfit she was wearing. Once and for all (because someone has to say it) stop letting your mother design your clothes. Seriously. Her talent is NOT in that area, and it’s painfully obvious EVERY time you take the stage.

Another girl that made me get up and take a soda break was someone called Keri Hilson, or something (Never even heard of her before last night). She looked like this tore up version of Rhianna and whatever that was she was singing was really bad. Case and point? When you’re commanding an audience to sing with you and you get stone silence? Yeah, it’s not good. I later heard that she likes to dis other artists and talk trash. I sort of had that feeling, though, because on the read carpet they asked her what performance she was looking forward to and she said her own. (I had this real o.O “Who is YOU?” moment there.) Disaster from start to finish. Elvis on crack. So, all I can say is if you plan to talk shit, you better be able to back it up. That mess she produced last night was not her A game (I hope).

It was fun to see Keith Sweat, Guy, and BBD again, though. It brought back so many memories of when my mom was alive and she introduced me to all of these R&B groups/singers. So we sang and danced around in here last night! It’s like Jamie said, it was a celebration and I, for one, had a good time. 😀

The MJ thing has had me a mess all weekend, so I didn’t finish Chapter 3 of Loved yet. I’ll be working on it today after work, though, so I’m crossing my fingers that I can finally deliver something tonight.

Also, did you hear that Billy Mays, the OxyClean guy passed away of a heart attack? That sucks so much. He, too, was just 50. Such a shame. I used to call him “Home Improvement” (after the old TV show) and it was so sad to hear that he was gone. So much death in the last few days; it makes me appreciate life a lot more.

I now leave you with an image of Janet Jackson from last night.

I’m a big MJ fan, and I admit that I’m still crying. This just isn’t something I thought I’d ever see. I feel heartbroken, like I lost someone special. I think we all did, because no matter what anyone says, you can’t deny his extraordinary talent. I played this song at my mother’s funeral because it was a favorite of hers. I play it now in tribute to a legend.

Goodnight, your highness. May you finally find peace.