Date: September 12, 2007 8:43 AM
Chapter number: 3
Title: Shattered
This story is so sweet Kiki! I really like how this story is coming together, from heaven to ‘hell,’ in a sense. It’s coming along beautifully! I’m glad that you added Sango and Miroku, they’re so kawaii, and expecting a child. I hope that the baby has Miroku’s violet eyes, they’re adorable. It’s quite sad how Kagome can’t see reason, but she’s been through a lot in her life. So many miscarriages would really hurt a woman’s mental capacity. It’s good that she didn’t run out on InuYasha completely and went to Sango’s and Miroku’s. I could see you putting Kikyo into the story by having Kikyo come to InuYasha’s house while Kagome’s gone. It would be funny to see how he yells at her. I’m not one for Kikyo, she’s a good character but she ruins the Kagome and InuYasha relationship all the time, especially in your stories. But then again, Kikyo did say that she isn’t going to see the child again. But even a mother would worry about her child, even if she doesn’t have any money. The way you ending this chapter was great, I love how it ended with InuYasha looking at a wedding picture. Anyways, this is a great story, keep up all the good work!
Author's Response: Thanks, Nat! I'm glad you like the story. The next chap will post sometime this evening and we'll see how it progresses. There's not much Sango/Miroku in this one, I admit, because it's for Chibi and she's most interested in I/K. But they do make appearances. As for kags, we have to keep in mind that a child was produced from infidelity -that's a hard pill for a woman to swallow because it's a living reminder of the ultimate betrayal. So while Kagome looks unreasonable, her feelings are pretty valid. We just have a lot of sympathy for Yash because we know how much he loves her. ^^
[Report This]Date: September 11, 2007 12:15 AM
Chapter number: 1
Title: Prologue: The Day the Sun Set.
You know sometimes these stories are just big ass reminders of things people try to forget.
You write it well.. but uh.. I thnk I found the story I cant read.... but So far so good.
=|
Author's Response: Aww, that's okay, hun. I know this story is pretty "real" and not for everyone. But thanks for giving it a try and I'll be updating my others soon so you'll have something to jump into! ^_^
[Report This]Date: September 10, 2007 9:57 PM
Chapter number: 3
Title: Shattered
This chapter was so sad. I hope that Kagome can forgive Inuyasha. Update soon.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review, NF. We'll have to see how it plays out, but there's lots of love involved!
[Report This]Date: September 10, 2007 2:04 PM
Chapter number: 3
Title: Shattered
I'm just loving this one. This is one has reallly got me all emotional and stuff. God, I feel sorry for every character in this one. First I feel for Kikyo, because even though she seemed like she was a heartless mother for dropping off her son like she did with Kagome, for her to cry when she packed her son's things proved that she cared a little. Second, is the kid, Jayden, or Jay-Jay (cute name) whose only fault was just being born with the right dad but wrong mom. Third, is Kagome, who, I'll be honest, I can understand wholeheartedly. If my husband got another woman pregnant while I was miscarrying a child, I'd do more than just scratch his damn face. I'd try to make sure he did not get me or any other woman pregnant again, if you know what I mean. (Just kiddin'.) But I can definitely understand Kagome. And finally, InuYasha, poor guy. I really feel for him. He made a mistake, a huge one, and now it might cost him the only woman he ever truly loved.
Well, Grrrl, you've done it again. You got me hooked like an addict on heroine. Update soon.
Author's Response: Hey, girl!! How are you?? Thanks for the stellar review. I know a lot of the lovelies are torn in this thing, but that's the point! I really want y'all to feel for everyone and see that there is no real "bad guy". LOL "addict on heroine" lmao! I love that!!
[Report This]Date: September 10, 2007 6:44 AM
Chapter number: 3
Title: Shattered
I can not went in still you up date this story.
Author's Response: Thank you for the review and for reading!!
Date: September 10, 2007 2:05 AM
Chapter number: 3
Title: Shattered
I'm really loving this! It leaves such an impact...god, I really want to write now. *eyes the pile of homework she has to do*
This breakdown hit really hard, and it's such a complicated situation that I have no idea how they're gonna get past it. (unless Kikyou dies ._. that always makes things work out. *wink,wink*)
So thats what Inu got upto when he got smashed off his face that night. Veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery interesting stuff.
Author's Response: LOL!! Axy, thanks for the review. *looks at Axy's pile of HW* Damn, >.> but maybe you can sneak in a tiny chappie, eh? Thanks, girl. I needed some angst so bad and I finally got some with this story. *wallows in angst happily*
[Report This]Date: September 10, 2007 12:59 AM
Chapter number: 3
Title: Shattered
Mm ... I do believe my heart began to bleed with this one. I absolutely adore your writing - your style, thematics, wording - it all comes together beautifully. I'm envious of your ability. Amazing job; I am waiting with utmost suspense for the next chapter. (=
Claire.
Author's Response: Thank you very much, Claire. *bows deeply* Your words honor me and I'm ecstatic that you like the story. It seems that I put a lot more of myself into gifts than I do for fictions I write for myself, so I've been trying really hard to make this one good. Thanks for reading, I really appreciate it! ^_^
Date: September 09, 2007 11:30 PM
Chapter number: 1
Title: Prologue: The Day the Sun Set.
Reading the other reviews I see that my sympathy for Yash and impatience with Kagome is in the minority, and since I have shit else to do, I might as well explain myself.
Over the years, I realized that the diference between men and women is our perceptions on love. Women consider fidelity love and men consider providing for/support/sticking together love. Some men understand and mix the two, some understand and make mistakes, and others never care to understand and do what they do. If a woman understand this, its easy to put things in perspective because the only questions that need to be answered are, does he love me and do I love him? If either of those answers are no, or are based on conditions that neither person can meet then we can move on. Yash falls in the mistake category, so I really can't be mad at him because I know the back story, and I know that he loves her. He won't make the same mistake again, and he was there for her through all of her stuff as well, so despite the fact that he is the one that cheated, he does expect her to be there and at least let him explain, breathe next to her or something. He didn't abandon her during her time of need, and while the circumstances are different and involve exxternal parties, he does expect her to be there for during this.
So because I have moved on from the "How could he stuff" I am more focused on, what do we need to do now? What they needed to do was make sure the innocent child was okay, fed, bathed, comfortable, etc. If I felt that I could not rationally deal with the child of my husband's jumpoff, which is a valid feeling, I would have removed myself from the situation without scaring the ish out the child because it wasn't his fault. Having your husband's bar mate drop their child on your doorstep, I'm sure isn't the best feeling, but recognizing that you are not the only victim usually helps you but things in order so I would have done that until the immediate needs were taken care of. I also don't do the "tell outsiders about my stuff" crap beause other people like close friends and fam, can sometimes hold grudges for you better than you do for yourself, and that can prove to be detrimental when you forgive and are trying to work stuff out. If I needed somewhere to go, a hotel would have been it, and if I had no money, I would have asked a friend without elaborating on the reason.
Sango in the show, anime, and in this fic has the negative potential to be the oxygen to Kagome's buring flame so I was glad that Miroku made sure she stayed focused. Was he being a guy, hell yes, but guys are on earth for a reason, and their rationality is def one of them. When I want a sane perspective myself, I ask my brother for his opinion because I know that it will most likely be a little more expansive than my own, and keep me from doing something spastic. I don't ask my female friends for much relationship advice, because I can usually predict what they will say, and it's 9 times out of 10 times counterproductive.
Yash is a wonderful guy who made a mistake, so any "punishment" or mouth lashing from Sango or anyone else would not be beneficial because the whole situation has been a punishment for him. It's up to Kagome alone to decide if she is in love with him enough to forgive him, and can get over her own stuff to accept the new family edition. It's not Kikyo's, Yash's or Jaden's fault she can't have kids, so if her insecurity is her main obstacle to accepting Jaden then she's got to do some soul searching and decide what's important to her. Life has its sucky moments, but its up to us as individuals to make the best out of what is given since we can't do any creating of our own. Knowing that Yash loves her and that she has the ability to provide a young child, who just so happens to be her husband's child with a jumpoff (details), a stable loving home, In my mind, should be enough to bring her back, but I'll just have to wait to see if it is.
Okay, I'm done now, and I can't wait for your the next chapter!!! This story has so much meaning and feeling, I love it!!!
Author's Response: What a satisfying, thoughtful, and most excellent review! Wow. You blow me away, girl! I love your POV too, you hit it all right on the head, and in that way, you remind me so much of Ms. Goddess (InuGoddess715). She, too, picks up on what I'm saying in my plots very well.
You touched on so many great points, especially Sango and Miroku. They were the typical "friends" that you run into in these situations. The girl usually hates on the accused because he hurt her friend, and often, any or all of the advice given is detrimental to the situation. Miroku, a typical guy, who tries to see things rationally. It's like I said to Chibi (the person I wrote this for) women are emotional and we react with our emotions FIRST, then maybe later on we look at it from the other side. Miroku is thinking about the overall -not just the act of cheating itself.
InuYasha is an awesome man and he's desperately in love with his wife. He made a mistake and he's dealing with it. BUT you can't help but feel for Kagome because she's completely devastated. Who wouldn't be? And the question, like you've said, is if she can overcome this and remember the love between them. This was a surprisingly easy chapter to write because I could see the entire thing in my mind (plus everyone knows I wear an angst crown, lol). But I just couldn't see it happening any other way. There's so many emotions involved; so many lives entwined in what looks like the worst mess ever that you can't help but "feel" the chaos.rn
And Jaden, I could actually see that kid in my head. Adorable. But I could also see kagome flaring up the way she did. That's why I tried to show the bonding between Jaden and InuYasha to kind of counter Kagome's reaction. It was important for the kid to see that he wasn't hated. So yah, that's the story so far. A new chap will be up in a day or two since I'm not working on anything else until this one is done. ^_^ Thanks for the AWESOME review. Loved it much!!
Date: September 09, 2007 11:08 PM
Chapter number: 3
Title: Shattered
i can't help but feel for kagome because of her situation but i can't stop thinking that uber fem sango might not be the best person for her to talk to either! but i really have to wonder about kikyou. and how kags and yash are gonna get through this.
Author's Response: LOLOL!!! Uber fem -hahaha! True though. I indentify with Sango more than Kagome any day of the week, but in this <.< I can see why you're wary. Thanks for the review, C!
[Report This]Date: September 09, 2007 10:24 PM
Chapter number: 3
Title: Shattered
If in the next chapter Kagome stays away for good. i'm done reading.~Crciket42
Author's Response: Thanks for the heads up, but the story will go how it goes and if you stop reading, you just do. rnThanks for the review.
[Report This]Date: September 09, 2007 10:18 PM
Chapter number: 3
Title: Shattered
Wow. I knew the fallout was going to be bad....but that was worse than I imagined. I did manage not to cry....but it was hard. I definitely felt sorry for Kagome; as I said in my other review, seeing living proof of your husband's infidelity must be one of hardest things in the world to deal with. So, it was a given that I had sympathy for her.
But, you also managed to do what I thought was impossible for me: make me feel sympathy for a cheating husband who had a baby by another woman. Give yourself a pat on the back for that, girl, because I think that those type of men are the biggest wastes of oxygen on the planet. BUT, in this story, you couldn't help but feel bad for Inuyasha. I guess because we knew what happened in the beginning, what led him to make such a terrible mistake. When he got on his knees and begged her not to go....talk about tearjerking.The things he said to her....wow. And all those sweet words were wasted on her now.
And Miroku and Sango...talk about caught in the middle. Both of them made good points....but Miro ticked me off just a bit. He made it sound so easy that Kagome should stay there and help Inuyasha take care of the baby. Never mind that she had JUST FOUND OUT that Inuyasha cheated on her, let alone had a baby. Yet, "walking out on problems isn't the answer." If that wasn't a typical "guy" thing to say, I don't know what is. He's not even trying to see it from the wife's perspective. Hopefully, when he sees how bad a shape Kagome's in, he'll open his eyes a bit more to the female side of this situation.
On a SOMEWHAT lighter note, the father/son bonding at the end of the chapter was sweet. Inuyasha is already toast as far as his son's concerned. But, he is going to have a HARD time convincing Kagome to give him another chance. MAN, this is good!
Author's Response: Ms. Goddess!! Girl, you said a mouthful, lol. And as usual, you were on point! But I've come to expect nothing less. I'm really impressed that I got you to feel for a guy like InuYasha. I know how hard that is, but his back story saves his ass. He really does love his wife and this is just a tragedy all around.
Miroku was being typical, but true, he and Sango both made great points. Raising someone else's child is just insane in that situation, but so is walking away. And caught in the middle is a little boy that needs someone.rnrn
And I, too, loved the bonding. This chappie needed it after the torture I threw at y'all. There will be a lot more of it in the next chappie along with a small time jump (gotta keep this fic short :P). So we'll see what happens next. Thanks for the review -always a pleasure!
Date: September 09, 2007 10:16 PM
Chapter number: 2
Title: Uninvited
omg i knew sango was going to say that! and i cried for kagome too...=( dang hormones! that was just one HELL of a day for her...
you are amazing for tackling this story, its gotta be hard to write. its comming along very well...i cant wait for more
Author's Response: Sheena!! It's actually pretty easy to write because it's not a "lemon" fic and I can just concentrate on giving a good plot. But I'm so glad you like it and so sorry it made you upset. >.< Can't be upsetting the mamas to be! <33
[Report This]Date: September 09, 2007 10:11 PM
Chapter number: 3
Title: Shattered
oh wow...i knew it was gonna get worse! jaden is SO adorable though! i feel so bad for him...inu is doing good, even though that was such a big, sucky surprise...poor kagome...i just cant imagine that feeling...i know its gonna eventually turn out happy, im waiting!
Author's Response: Sheena!! Thanks for the review. I love Jaden too, he's such a cutie. We can only wait and see how it all plays out. :P
Date: September 09, 2007 9:39 PM
Chapter number: 3
Title: Shattered
Oops, I meant that she lacked the MONEY to do a great job. :P
Author's Response: lolz, Tina, you nut!!
Date: September 09, 2007 9:37 PM
Chapter number: 3
Title: Shattered
Wow...I myself, have always been a firm believer in the philosophy of "He cheats, she leaves" but damn if I didn't almost forget that! I mean, you have written out their relationship in such a way that I can't imagine them ever being separated, no matter what! He was her life while she was depressed...but like she said, while she was thinking about killing herself, he was off having sex. A sticky situation indeed. I guess I understand a little more about why some women don't leave their husbands after he cheats. And Inuyasha and Kagome have been married for how many years, so that makes it even more difficult. I am back to not knowing what to expect.
Jaden is so cute! And I don't know what to think about Kikyo. I think that deep down, she tried to be a good mother but she lacked the mother to do a great job. But I believe that she sent Jaden to Inuyasha with the best intentions, so we'll just see how everything works out.
Happy Writing!
Tina
Author's Response: You know, a few other people have said that too. I'm amazed and totally humbled that I could make y'all see things from a different POV. ^_^ I wanted to show that it's a lot more complex than just "he cheated so dump him" and I've done that. Squee! *feel accomplished* Thanks for the review, Tina, and Kikyou... well, she thinks she was doing the right thing.
Date: September 09, 2007 9:36 PM
Chapter number: 3
Title: Shattered
WOW!!!! I am sooooooooooooooo sad for the Kid and Yash. I know Kagome is upset and had her own issues with not being able to give him a child, but damn if she didn't leap to "I'm gone" before the end of the 2nd quarter. I hope she cools off and is able to rationalize and go back to at least talk to him for a bit. And I'm glad Miroku talked to Sango, because us girls like to jump on the "he's a dog" bandwagon without facts, rationality, or patience to help us see the bigger picture. It would be bad if Sango gave Kagome the means to run away without encouraging her to talk it out, if not work it out with Yash. I'm glad Yash is going to try with Jayden (such a cute name), but I think this can work out well for all involved. I love this plot, that tests both the strength of love and trust. I was hoping that you would get this out today, and you made my night!!!
Author's Response: Thanks for another awesome review - I so appreciate it!! Everything you said is absolutely right. Too many women immediately drop their man, and while I can totally understand the logic, people make mistakes and the true test is if you can get past it all. Plus, there's another life involved and that just complicates matters more. I feel for everyone in this story and I'm giddy that you're enjoying it so much!
Date: September 09, 2007 9:27 PM
Chapter number: 3
Title: Shattered
AMAZING CHAPTER!!!!! so much power in it, I absolutely love it. Yes Kagome Yes!!! BEAT HIS ASS INTO THE FUCKING GROUND!
I'm sorry, I had to say it. Loving this story. I would never take him back. I mean freaking god, it's like a double stab to the heart for kagome! A child which she can never mother and a husband who cheated.
Talk about your drama :)
You are the queen of angst ^_^
Author's Response: Paw print!! Thanks, girl! I really appreciate the feedback. I can understand you not taking him back too. Many women wouldn't because the cut is so deep. But that's the test, ya know? Is the love strong enough to survive. And thanks for the title, lolz!! *Tilts her crown to the side* ^_^
Date: September 09, 2007 9:23 PM
Chapter number: 3
Title: Shattered
This was the angst I needed.
This is such a different Kagome. She's always so passive, but to place her here in a 'real' and 'common' problem has brought new character depth. I applaud you!
Looking forward to the next update. :)
Author's Response: Thanks, Mare!! Glad I could oblige. :P For the situation to properly unfold, hardcore angst was a *must*. I couldn't see it going down any other way. Thanks for supporting the story!
[Report This]Date: September 09, 2007 8:46 PM
Chapter number: 3
Title: Shattered
I never thought i'd say this but i hated inuyasha early in the chapter... when u experience the whole "cheating" thing it really gets to u ya kno... that's why 'm not that into my first fic. I couldnt even see the screen good cuz the tears just kept falling, and it dug deeper for kags cuz she mus feel like inu wanted a child so bad that since he couldnt get it from her, he went to another... *sigh* phew.. commitment is big i tell u, it's like your risking everything; i guess that's why i'm that way...lol, jus dont wanna get broken i guess. Inu would make a good father tho... and miro might understand more when he finds out kags was never able to get a child? I have to say that this is the first time u wrote a fic that had me crying so much in the earlies... I'm glad ya update... i jus hope everthing works out... *sniff* i cant stop crying... i can feel the emotions jus running through me.. and the kind of stuffs that i've been through or witness is so real ya kno, so i dont kno if u'll really understand. But i rarely cry like this especially over a fic too. I'm going to go hug my teddy now (yes, am not too young for one) ttyl kiki...
Author's Response: *hugs* Aww, Bubbles. I'm sorry this chap hurt. So many people said they cried and I'm just amazed by that. It's so humbling to be told that you invoked that kind of emotion with something you've created. Just...wow. rnAnd you're right, commitment is such a huge step and love takes work. It's not perfect and there is no master plan. You just have to keep working at it, ya know? And there's nothing wrong with having a teddy! I still have my Yasha plushy. ^^
Date: September 09, 2007 8:29 PM
Chapter number: 3
Title: Shattered
Very, very heartwrenching.
Author's Response: Agreed, Drake. *nods*
Date: September 09, 2007 8:03 PM
Chapter number: 3
Title: Shattered
See how much I was crying....The previous review is from me. I'm going to lay down now. :)
Author's Response: Aww, D-gurl. *hugs* You make me feel so bad. :P
Date: September 09, 2007 8:01 PM
Chapter number: 3
Title: Shattered
Oh man, saying the "shit hit the fan" is putting it mildly don't ya think? Man I said I would not cry anymore this summer, but damn Grrrl!! Oh, by the way great chapter 3, I'm going for tissues now, can't wait till chapter 4. LOVE YA MUCH!!!
Author's Response: LOL! Definitely putting it mildly! I'm sorry for the tears, but I'm happy that I was able to pull that kind of emotion out of you. It's very rewarding as a writer. :) Chappie 4 should be up in a day or two because I'm not working on anything else. ^^
Date: September 09, 2007 7:27 PM
Chapter number: 3
Title: Shattered
MAN!!! I love this story! I am soo hooked! lol. Take care of you.
Author's Response: Thanks, Christal!! I'm actually having fun with these characters -go fig since the platform is new for me, lol. But I'm really glad you like it!!
[Report This]Date: September 09, 2007 7:26 PM
Chapter number: 3
Title: Shattered
Oh.My.God. That was so painful. Lawd. I was biting my lip SO frickin hard in the beginning, and then crying and just blegh. lmao. <333 GORGEOUS. AHHHH I loved it. The drama and the angst and JADEN (cutestlittleboyever) and I love the characters most of all. I HATE KAGOME RIGHT NOW. But you know all about that. lmao. ARGH SO GOOD NEE-CHAN. Thanks so much. <(^-^)> loveyou!!!!
Author's Response: Chibi!!!! *huggles* I'm so glad you liked it. I tell ya, I had fun with the arguments. I love angst >.> you know this. But I also love Jaden, poor lil thing. And I know Kags is being a pill, but can you really blame her?? < ( ^_^ ) > LU2!!
Date: September 08, 2007 10:50 AM
Chapter number: 2
Title: Uninvited
I like this chapter I like went to the kitchen to see a kid sit there . I can not went in still you up date a anagin
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'll be updating later on today. Hope you enjoy!!