Beyond Redemption

Well, God willing, I will have at least one update on my anniversary, lol. I have no idea why it’s important to me to update on that day. I guess it’s tradition, or whatever, but yeah. Not having anything at all was bugging me. I actually had a nice plan for my ‘birthday’ this year, but it’s all fucked now, so… forget it.

I’m tired. In a lot of ways. Nothing is fun anymore. Maybe I’m just horribly rusty, but everything is work and nothing is fun, so it just sucks. As for what’s being updated, well, it’s been a fave with my readers, but I can tell you now that it’s not The Neighbor or If I Want To, so if you were looking for those, stop now. I’m updating what happened to give me the least shit -and even that’s giving me shit- so it’s a kinda, take what you can get situation. Don’t expect anything awesome. I’m rusty, and like I said, just tired.

Later.

I haven’t updated yet because I haven’t been writing. I’ve had other things to do and fanfic just wasn’t one of them. I’ll try to get to it by the weekend. As for the new fic, whatever you’re thinking about it, you’re probably wrong. It won’t be a story for everyone -and that’s your warning.

Right now, I’m preparing for my concert tomorrow, which I hope will be better than the new album that came out. To say that I’m not wild about it is probably an understatement. There were just 8 songs and I only liked 2, maybe 3,  of them -that just sucks.

Anyway, I’m currently waiting for my digital camera to arrive. It should have been here yesterday and I’m pissed because I bought it so I could take it with me to this concert. The USPS constantly screws things up and then they wonder why Republicans want to do away with them…

Totally not in a good mood today. And it’s fucking cold.

In other news, if you have Netflix, check out Apartment 143.  It’s like Paranormal Activity -except it’s actually fun to watch.

I got no writing done. I was already feeling shitty toward it since last week, and then doing Kouga/Rin just sucked the life out of me (Two characters I really can’t stand. They may even surpass my disgust or SessKags and that’s saying something), and people have been pissing me off all week with their nonsense and unnecessary snark.

I’m tired of a lot of people and tired of dealing with their childish bullshit. I’m not going to get all into specifics here, but I do know that I’m going to start cutting people off. I keep to myself in fandom, tbh. I don’t go out of my way to get chummy with people because they always end up proving to me that it was mistake. Every. Fucking. Time. It’s depressing, so I just “do me and fuck you” (so to speak). But yeah, scissor time is closing in.

I’ve dealt with enough assholes out here, and it’s to a point that I’ve yanked myself off the radar with the exception of my website and Deviant Art. Why? Because I want to be left alone. I want to write for the people who support my work and avoid every other dipshit who wants to “know” me for some petty, ulterior reason. If you’re my friend, then BE my fucking friend and don’t give me grief, don’t bring me snark because you want to be “cute” and feel “clever”, don’t attempt to use me or my so-called “name” for anything, because trust, I’m just like everyone else -an IY fan. There’s no “magic” to it. Sorry.

In other words, don’t go out of your way to make me dismiss you because I’m good to all my friends and I’m sick of tolerating less than the same, aight? I’m done with that. I honestly am, and I will cut anyone out of my world completely if I have to think about them negatively more than once ever again.

/Rant.

In nice news, I got my tweaked art back and the header is done. The skin will be up in a few days (been lazy this weekend), hopefully along with an update. However, it could be delayed if I update something that has a new skin waiting for it already. Either way, the new art is ASS-WHOOPING!!! ^_______________^

Here’s to a better week for all of us.

My comm is having its annual summer challenge. I usually never participate; there are prizes involved and I’m not comfy with giving myself stuff in a community/site I created. However, after posting the prompt list, a short story came to mind, partially based on something that I witnessed in real life. So, I did twelve 300-310 word drabbles in a day and a half.

It’s not the first time I’ve written an entire story in one day. I did it with Amber and To Heal a Heart as well, but that was a really long time ago -and full chapters. Drabbles take a bit more discipline -you must condense a lot into very few words and that’s not something I do often. But, despite the plot not being terribly original (what is anymore?), I do like how it turned out. It was nice to “complete” something else in 2011.

Anyway, I had a bunch of plans for updates I wanted to do over the next few weeks, but I don’t really think I will. You guys hardly ever review -and I say this often- which leads me to believe you’re not enjoying the fics. To be honest, it feels like a waste of my time to spend hours of time and carpal tunnel ache on 8 and 9,000 word chapters when you no one says anything. That’s time and pain that I don’t want to devote to what I’m quickly seeing as a dead cause. So, who knows. June 16th of 2011 maybe the day I blow this off instead of 2012. *shrug* Either way, when/if stories do get updated, they’ll probably be personal faves. If anyone else happens to likes them, well, I guess you lucked out.

Enjoy the weekend.

Ungh. Interesting night.

So, here I am, minding my business and finishing In His Eyes (That chapter will post shortly) when I get an e-mail from my little brother. He’s like, there’s no way to tell you this without getting you mad, so… and there it is. A link to one of my oneshots plagiarized verbatim on fanfiction.net. Again. And should I mention that the idiot posted it 25 fucking times with different titles? My guess is that every chapter is stolen from myself, and probably others, and the genius failed epically at stealing them correctly.

I can’t roll my fucking eyes any harder.

First reaction? Fury, of course. This trick not only stole my shit, but stole my birthday fic from 2006, Crush The Night. That story is only posted on my personal sites and Deviant Art, so now we’ve narrowed it down. But I’m sure she lifted that from one of my houses.

Talk about that asshole digging deep into the fucking archives, huh? And still got caught. Douche. I only have a small amount of stories posted on FFN because it’s a shitty site with absentee mods. These people don’t address anything, no matter what it is. Case and point? Their forums are full of questions and complaints from people wanting to know where the fuck the admins are. The really sad part is that, aside from trying to bang this chapter out for Linds, I’ve gotten a bunch of mail and PMs from people on that site asking for an update. So I was gonna be nice and post it there right away. Well, yeah, I’ll still post it… along with a note letting them know I’m not posting anything else there. That site is cock, and after 5 thieves, I’ve had it.

Usually after being plagiarized I’ll shut my site down for a bit. But I’m not going to do that this time. TBH, I’m tired, people. I’m tired of bullshit, I’m tired of the hundreds of people that visit and never review and I’m tired of being the proverbial “Whipping Grrrl” and plagiarism target. I fail to see where the BS is worth it. I was finally getting back into writing, hence the fast updates, but what the FUCK am I doing it for? Seriously.

I’m out.

EDIT: Looks like xXinukagloverXx deleted that fic already. I guess there’s no point when you get caught less than 24 hours after posting stolen work.

I finally updated a chapter for The Knife of Romance. It had been over a year, which kinda astonished me. I didn’t realize that much time had passed. But I guess I do that a lot, huh? Some days I want to write my fingers off, and others, I don’t want to update at all. Mostly because of a lack of feedback and my carpal-fucking-tunnel. I had a relapse in these last 2 weeks writing and rewriting that KoR chapter -just to not be happy with it by the end. So, I’m back in hand braces and that’s just F-U-N, especially given the fact that I don’t think many people liked that last chapter. It was like jacking my hands for the hell of it. Yay! \o/

In other news, if you’re here, then you’ll see that I upgraded my blog and installed a new layout. That took a nice few HOURS, but I’m happy with the result. This layout allows me to have several background images to choose from at will. Currently, I have up a giftart that Kau got for me: Pirate InuYasha, Spock InuYasha, and “Crow” InuYasha. They’re so fucking neat -and each one holds a special meaning- so that makes it even better. But I also have several other backgrounds that I plan to switch around every so often, so that should be fun.

Absolution also got a new skin up. I had some art done (I mentioned this before), for several of my stories and will be posting new layouts with some of my updates. The one up currently is for The Knife of Romance, and again, several more are coming. I love my site, I really do. I love having commissioned artwork that no one else has and I love how Neo sprinkles her fairy dust on everything and makes it perfect. Absolution is home, and at this point, I’ll never feel comfy anywhere else. I just wish I loved writing as much as I loved decorating.

Nothing left to say, so later.

I miss using my blog. I love my forum – we have a blast there- but I love my blog, too. *Hugs my bloggy-blog* Anyway, I haven’t laid down a good old-fashioned rant in a while, and though I said I’d stop using my blog for personal shit, fuck it. It’s MY blog, am I right? lol.

Anyway, I hate sheeple. If you’re not familiar with the term, it’s a derogatory reference for people that just follow people/sites/places/things blindly. They have no true facts to back anything up, and they don’t have a true “cause”, and they don’t even know what the fuck they’re talking about most of the time. They talk because they need to be heard. You know the type.

They butt into your A and B conversation with unwanted, unnecessary bullshit because they want to be seen. They’re not offering anything useful because they don’t even know what you’re talking about. They just want to jump in and create drama for the sake of it, or because they’re bored, or stupid, or nosy, or whatever.

I’m a leader, not a follower. I always have been. I go against the grain all the time if it suits me and what I want to achieve. I care about people, and I will go out of my way to help or be supportive to a deserving person, but I’ll give an asshole my ass to kiss in a moment, usually by way of ignoring them. The internet gives people the luxury of being anonymous, but they use their anonymity to be pricks for no apparent reason other than internet pats on the back. *snort* Seriously? Get over yourself and your high schooler’s need to be accepted amongst your peers. It’s sad and laughable.

Is this about fandom? Not really. It’s a horse of a different color, but the overall pomposity of it is the same. People are obnoxious idiots most of the time. I mean, you think they are at first glance, but then they start talking and remove all fucking doubt. Butt-in-ski’s and bandwagon jumpers, in particular. I just can’t bring myself to care enough or be rude enough, to get all into something that has jackshit to do with me, especially with strangers. My time is too valuable. Sorry.

Now, on to other things!

I haven’t been writing, at least not very much. I have some health stuff going on and my head simply isn’t where it needs to be to achieve anything substantial. That’s why I have a new poll up. I’ve been thinking about those stories, in particular, and would like to update something that will garner a nice response. I mean, I love most of my fics and I’m going to finish them eventually whether anyone leaves a review or not, but I like making people happy when I can, so I want to update something that will do that until I have more time in my schedule and I’m feeling better able to write consistently again. Keep in mind, though, that the chapters will continue to be fairly short, especially right now when I’m under the weather. So vote, babes!

In other, other news!

I watched the BET awards on my DVR, and wow, I didn’t expect them to be so much fun! I’m not big on hip-hop, but I do like some songs and really took a liking to “Hands Up” by DJ Khaled, who closed out the show with a slew of guests, including T-Pain, Puffy and Busta Rhymes, and I had a blast. Even ran it back a few times.

But the highlight of the show was, of course, Chris Brown’s MJ tribute. That boy tore it APART, trust me on that. He broke down in tears by the end, though, during “Man in the Mirror” and the audience just loved it –so did I. It pisses me off that people are trying to say he faked that, used “eye drops” and other dumb shit. Look, get over that Rhianna bullshit. She’s busy man-hopping, so apparently, she’s definitely over it. But more to the point, he made a mistake, he’s paying for that mistake, and if people can forgive R. Kelly for pissing on children, I think a 21 year old kid (19 at the time) who lost his temper and fucked up can get a little break.

None of us were there when it went down, so we don’t know what set him off. People need to chill and let it lie. Now, am I condoning? Oh HELL no. I’m not a Rhianna or Chris Brown fan, but I am a woman, and what he did was fucking stupid and the lumps he took were deserved. But it’s been over a year, he’s kept his nose clean, he did whatever it was the judge told him to do in terms of punishment -leave it alone already.

And in closing…

I started a new diet and lost 20lbs. <.< That shit wasn't easy, either! And I miss cake! Wah! How about some Yasha? This chick is amazing! Her name is HitokiriSakura2012 and you can find her works on Deviant Art. her use of color is just awing.