Beyond Redemption

I started doing the “Year in Review” in 2006 after all that shit went down at that fic site, and it became a little tradition. It’s pretty much where I just talk about highs and lows and do a few thank yous, sooooo let’s have at it! ^_^

2009, in a lot of ways, sucked. It wasn’t a good year for writing, as I dallied a lot, dealt with carpal tunnel, and lost my inspiration to write to the point that I was ready to close up my personal website and call it a day. One night, I literally found my finger on the “delete” button for Absolution (Yeah, it got that serious.). I was just sick of it all. I was still dealing with a plethora of assholes over the stupidest shit like awards and petty jealousy (over what, I’m still unsure), I had tricks I don’t even know, pointing people to my blog, this blog (a slice of idiocy that still begs questioning), and it became just too beneath me to deal with.

And I won’t even get into how I was plagiarized. Again. Or how I saw someone read my fics and visit my personal sites, then turn around and use titles from those stories and sites in their fiction (and this was right after they read my shit, so this isn’t a coincidence).

IY fandom: Proving everyday that originality is dead.

Then, there were the shifts in a few of my personal relationships. Someone I love disappointed me greatly, another one that I cared for had to feel my scissors, and several others found out how I can become when I’ve decided to punish them with distance.

But, those were the worst parts. There were good parts as well.

2009 opened me up to several new people, awesome people, that seriously made up for the horrors this year has brought. There are also the wonderful people I already knew that became even greater, closer friends that I love to death. In fact, I’ve learned some great lessons from everything I’ve witnessed and experienced and I shall share a few!

1. Forgiveness is something to be earned, and once they’ve earned it, let it go.
2. Some of one’s dearest, closest, and most true blue friends can be people they’ve never met.
3. Haters hate for a reason, and most of the time, it has everything to do with how they feel about themselves.
4. One gets what one gives, especially love.
5. Family has absolutely nothing to do with blood relations.
6. I’m a writer, no matter how I try to shake it off, and I need to answer that call.
7. I’m too hard on myself and too easy on others.
8. I’m a damned good person and everyone I surround myself with are as well.
9. It’s okay to have moments of weakness; that’s what my friends are for.
10. I have to stop being so completely floored by compliments; I’m not as bad as I probably think.

There were many others, but those are the most notable ones.

For 2010, I’ve made a few resolutions that I hope to stick to as well.

1.Take better care of myself, both physically and mentally, and stop letting assholes stress me.
2. Learn to say “NO” more; I don’t owe anyone anything and I need to remember that.
3. Make more time for the people I love, online and off.
4. Recapture my love for my IY fictions and finish them, not just for the lovelies, but for my own sense of accomplishment.
5. Do something fun everyday, even if it’s just for an hour.
6. Start writing the original novels I’ve been putting off for 2 years.
7. Let go of old hurts; they’re only wearing me down.
8. Keep exploring/growing and don’t get stuck in self-imposed ruts.
9. Never, ever go against my instinct because I’m rarely wrong.
10. Accept that I can’t please everyone and stop trying to be the one to fix everything.

It’s a new year, so there are new goals, and I’m going to really pull out the stops to change some bad habits. Wish me luck!

Now, the thank yous…

My Inner Circle (You know who you are): You guys are love, mi familia, my sisters and brothers and the people I know I can turn to for just about anything. Thank you, very very much for being there when I needed you with kindness, laughter, “comfortable silence”, insane RP, crazy IMs, beautiful art, fantabulous graphics, outstanding fictions, gifts of every sort, and horror movie titles. *winks at Danga* I have your back. Always.

To My Redemption Lovelies: You guys are the most hilarious bunch of chicks (and dude) this side of the fucking fandom! You make entries here FUN, and I love that you aren’t afraid to express yourselves and toss your .02 into the pot. We’ve had some great debates and awesome laughs; this place wouldn’t be the same without ya! Thanks for sharing your lives with me.

And To My Absolution Lovelies: Some of you have been with me since 2005 when I first burst on the scene with that crazy canon oneshot (Haha! Canon!), but you forgave me and stuck around, watching with great enthusiasm as I coasted through fics, changed writing styles, and matured into something a little better than I was at the start. Thanks for that. I know many of you don’t review and choose to mail me. Others don’t say word; they just show me their presence by the hit counter on each story, and some leave their mark for each and every chapter, making me gape, snicker, and in some cases, go: o.O

But you know what? In the words of Jay Z…

“You could be anywhere in the world, but you’re here with me, and I appreciate that.”

Thanks for being here and enjoying the completed stories, sticking with the WIPs, and welcoming the new tales. You’ve supported me from the start, and while many have come later on, proving that I still have the power to help them escape from the BS of real life (even if it’s for a little while), it’s only now that I see this as a true gift -no matter how the haters try to make it seem like a curse. So, here’s to keeping IY alive in 2010!

Domo arigatou gozaimasu and Happy New Year!