Beyond Redemption

You know, it wasn’t my intention to come in here and vent today. I was actually having a pretty good day and spent last night looking at older stories, as well as writing some newer ones. The goal: To re-familiarize myself with past works in order to update, or in some cases, finish them. But then, I get some mail from a wonderful friend alerting me that someone came to one of my sites and lifted some art of mine to use as their avatar, or whatever. Now, that in of itself is annoying because I pay for my art for a reason -to keep it exclusive to me for use on my websites.

But what makes something more annoying is when it’s my actual likeness being used. Yup. Someone used a piece I received as a gift, a pic based on what I actually look like, and posted it as their own. But what makes it insidious is that it was taken directly from one of my headers and cropped without so much as credit to where it actually came from or who it actually was. I’m not pissed, really, but it was some real tool shit to do, particularly when they had me faved as an author. If it was a “fan” thing with no maliciousness meant, why not just ask? I’ve had people do that before, but the complete disregard just wasn’t cool, especially when that image, in that particular background, is exclusive to my site. (I know because I created the background myself.)

It got me thinking about Absolution and all of the headaches I can avoid if I password protect it, thus cutting off general access. If I do that, no one can even look at the pages of my sites (I can do it to each one) without going through me. It would narrow down the guest list and give me a better idea of who is coming into my house. And I realize that doing that won’t completely safeguard me from nonsense, but it would certainly give me more control over who comes into my home. I’m also aware of the poll numbers, but shit like this fucking annoys me.

I don’t know if y’all have noticed or not, but I’m pretty far away from the rest of the fandom. Only a small portion of my stories are posted outside of my personal sites, and that’s at ff.net because I was (and still am) getting plagiarized there. So I started posting to establish more of a presence. I also post a few things at Deviant Art, mostly short stuff (i.e. oneshots and novellas), but Absolution and IG.Net as a whole, is my fucking HOME and I don’t appreciate people feeling like they can, and should, violate that.

I don’t fuck with anyone. I mind my own business and it’s rare when I come outside of my bubble. I have severed my ties with 90% of the IY fandom, going as far as to remove my stories from nomination contention at the Feudal Association (I didn’t bother with the IYFG; they make sure a win with them is a rarity, and after the way I’ve been spit on there for no reason, I wouldn’t waste my time even sending a note) because winning art or a banner simply isn’t worth the dramatics that follow.

(That doesn’t mean you should stop participating in ED’s awards, though. That’s a community thing based on what the ED community enjoys. It’s closed off and doesn’t involve the entire fandom, thus making it a much more pleasant experience. /Plug. lol.)

I don’t even read much fanfic anymore because it’s a bit disheartening when you end up enjoying someone’s work then find out through the vine that she’s been badmouthing you. Never mind that you don’t know her and never did shit to her. But that’s what this fandom is. It’s full of petty jealousies and immature children disguised as women in their 30’s, 40’s, and yes, 50’s. I fought against that kind of shit since “GO”, and I know I’ve encouraged many to ignore their critics and write for the fun of it, but my activist days are pretty much over. I’m happy and content in my own little world without the “frills”.

I’ve got a great set of regulars that check out the stories and leave nice reviews. They appreciate the work and they kick it with me and we have a good time. That’s all I care about now. These hags can keep the rest of the bullshit to themselves -they’re so welcome to it.

Anyway, back on topic. I’m probably going to close Abi to the public in the next few weeks. How it would work is when you come to the site, a menu will drop down asking you for a username and a password. This information would be the same for everyone that visits, however, it is subject to change. Those that get a password/username have to agree that they’re not going to give it out. I have the capability to track visitors by IP address and I am in possession of most of yours. If I start seeing numbers I don’t recognize, I will lock that person out of the site, or if necessary, change the password and username again.

I know, it’s crappy, but I’m sick of these people and I don’t need/want the dumb shit involved with just trying to maintain a place of my own where I feel comfortable and at ease. Most of y’all have my e-mail address, or you can get it from Absolution. If you want to still have access to the site, please mail me with the penname you use for reviews, and when it’s time, you’ll get mail from me with log in info. And yes, the people that will probably be getting in are people that review. Why? Because I know them a bit more personally, and they’re not just lurkers, hanging around for whatever reason.

And yes, I know it will drastically cut down the availability of my fiction. That’s the idea. I’m closing off circulation to the majority of my stories and allowing people in that appreciate my work and respect me on a whole. This is not a move of arrogance; I don’t think my fics are so “awesome” they need exclusivity. This is about not having my shit hijacked by random people.

Again, this is a few weeks off; I want to give my regulars time to get the news and contact me for the login. I’m sorry it even had to come to this, but my hand is being forced.

Happy Friday.

EDIT: I heard back from the person that lifted my likeness and there was an apology with a deletion. (I’m very appreciative of that. I’m not used to people actually stepping up when they’re in the wrong) Turns out, she got the pic from another person, though. Kinda justifies why I need to close my doors, doesn’t it?

EDIT II: I just got a review from an author whose fics I’ve always loved and she’s been gone a LONG while. It gave me pause. Had Abi been closed, she never would have gotten to say hello. Damn. That just messed me all up, lol.