Beyond Redemption

Haven’t updated here in a bit, but since it’s a holiday, I wanted to wish you guys a fun one! Eat lots of BBQ, hang out with the fam, enjoy the Macy’s fireworks, and don’t forget to watch the Twilight Zone marathon tonight (Come on, it’s tradition!).

Tomorrow is my Neo’s birthday , and I’m hoping to write something for her, but I don’t know if it will happen (I’ll ask what she wants to see updated). I’m running on empty right now. My friend (the one I’ve mentioned before) is in the hospital again. ICU. It’s stressful, but he seems to be okay and I’m hoping he’ll get released soon. I’ve barely slept since it happened, so I’m tired and very drained. He’s got serious health issues and I’m hoping this isn’t a setback. I’ll keep you posted, I guess…

On that note, let me take a minute to thank you guys for all the love on my latest update. I haven’t written anything in ages, so it was nice to see my lovelies again. I want to get better with giving you guys some chapters to escape with (Even tho I do plan to end things soon), but as you can see, my life is always crazy and I just haven’t been around that much. Bear with me; I am definitely going to give you another soon.

Now, onto today’s vortex of stupidity.

It’s been years, but today I got a “love letter” from someone called “Lex” who was upset by my site rules. Apparently, because she (I’m going to assume this is a female because only a little girl could get this emotional over nothing) could not simply waltz into my house to do as she likes, I must be this awful, stuck up, evil person. I mean, she even resorted to grade school name-calling. Gasp.

I’m so hurt.

*Sips tea*

I guess that was supposed to be my cue to apologize profusely for her shattered sensibilities and plead with her to accept a membership. Or perhaps she thought that I actually would be hurt by her “fan mail”? lol. I’m sorry, BooBoo, but it would take much more than that to garner more than a bored sigh from me. #BetterLuckNextTime

To be perfectly honest, I’m annoyed that I wasted 3 entire minutes responding to someone so clearly beneath my radar. Silly me. But because it’s been so long since I’ve had to disinfect my inbox -and lets face it, I was amused- I thought it would be chuckle-worthy to inform this vermin of exactly how little the opinion of a perfect stranger mattered. #ByeNow

SMH. They still exist all these years later. Who would have thought? LOL.

Happy Independence Day!

That is all.

I haven’t been writing. I was supposed to, but I didn’t. I was down. You know why. No need to rehash. The plan is to do some writing today -and the rest of the week. I need something other than RL to occupy my mind. As usual, don’t expect greatness. I had to take an unexpected detour with writing due to being sick, so I feel rusty again. But it’s better than nothing, right?

Kau treated me to some UKISS fanart and I got one finished commission today. I love it. It’s fucking adorable. I’ll post it to my gallery when I get the others so they can go up as a block. I’m very happy with the result thus far. Yay. I’m waiting for two IY arts as well, but one of my artists went MIA on me. Dunno what’s up -this is totally unlike her- but I need to hear from her soon…

UKISS created their first sub-unit (A group within a group) called uBEAT and their first mini album drops tomorrow (Well, today in Korea). Totally excited to hear it because Kevin is being featured as a guest singer and they’re doing some remixes of a few songs from their latest CD, Collage. As usual, I’ll buy the digital copy then a physical one from overseas (I don’t do that for any other group and I never will). I just wish they had gone with a cooler image for this since this CD involves the English speaking members and ‘rappers’ of the group. But… nope. They’re doing the usual Korean, colorful, dorky thing they do. Sigh. But I adore them anyway.

^ Love him.

In other news, came across another art thief on dA. It never ceases to amaze me at how bold these talentless pricks are. But more than that, I just don’t get the stealing and plagiarizing. To me, it sends a simple message:

“I’m a fucking zero, I know it, so this is the only way I can seem like more than a talentless slug in the eyes of people who don’t know any better.”

Seriously, it’s a brand of pathetic that I just can’t relate to. What good is praise that you didn’t earn? In what universe will anyone respect a thief? As someone who has had her fanworks stolen a number of times, it’s a really disgusting, lowlife practice. It shows me that the cunts who stole my work are too stupid and lacking to do something as simple as string a few words together. I have a thousand times more respect for someone who writes a shitty story or makes crappy fanart than the douche-canoe who copies and posts someone else’s shit. Why? Because bad can improve to good and dicks will always be dicks.

Anyway, I’m out.

I just realized I’ve updated 6 times in the last 6 weeks, which is some kind of miracle for me. My hands are starting to pay for it, but I just put on new braces, so hopefully that will help because I want to keep going while I “feel” it, ya know?

I made a dulce de leche birthday cake for mys ick friend yesterday (He shares that birth date with my mom and Dangersque aka Danga) and I made the leche myself.

The cake is yellow sponge with buttercream icing and dulce de leche filling/topping. >.> Probably 10lbs to the gut per slice, but those are his favorite flavors and he loved it. 😀

In fandom news, I’m done hosting contests. The Valentine’s Day one was the last. I spend a lot of money on these things, and most of the time, it’s not worth it. This last contest had a bit of an ‘upset’ with first place going to a piece that wasn’t technically’ as good as second place (both art), but apparently, struck a bigger chord with the judges. Let’s just say that I had zero issue with how, who, and what was chosen as the 3 winners. I completely understood the choosing and stand by it as the hostess of the contest and the only one who ever pays for these things. (With special thanks going to my graphics team, who provides the wallpapers)

In fact, everyone involved in the contest got a prize that was actually purchased, which means I spent money on it, but only a few bothered to even say thank you or congratulate the other winners. UGH. NO HOME TRAINING. It’s enough now, so no more money is going into the IY fandom unless it’s to benefit myself or my special ones.

Moving on…

I’m writing again today and I’ll have some new art for you guys to chuckle at. It won’t be a header, though. I’ve been reluctant to change headers yet because I adore the current one so much (You guys know I love baseball, so “Baseball Yasha” is one of my all time faves). I added the full pic to my gallery if you want to take a peek. I’ve been neglecting o post new artises there, so I’ll be catching up on that soon.

And last, thanks to everyone who dropped me a line at Absolution. Knowing you enjoy the updates motivates me to bring you more, so let’s see what we can do before my hands force me to take a break!

Seriously, people annoy the shit out of me and then they wonder why I’m so quick to cut everyone off. Strangers that I don’t know at all really shouldn’t involve me in whatever statements they wish to make, particularly when I have nothing at all to do with the subject at hand. It’s like, are you fucking serious? *Hits the ban hammer*

But in better news, I updated Knife of Romance. Depending on the response it gets this weekend, I’ll decide if I want to come back full throttle with several more updates. If I feel like the chapter wasn’t really enjoyed, or the writing itself wasn’t missed, I’ll take that as my cue to drop this shit altogether, cause seriously, the IY fandom makes me longingly stare at the EXIT far too often and I’m just about ready for a permanent change.

I did some writing over the last couple of days. I’m not happy with it, but since I don’t want to write at all, it’s understandable. Unless I really start loving (or at least, liking) fanfic again soon, anything I create will feel the way this does. Sigh.

When writing is too frustrating, I read manga and I have to get some things off my chest.

I’m grateful to scanlators for the hard work they do. I know because I work with a scanlation group, so I completely understand the BS they deal with. That’s another story, though… Anyway, while I do appreciate their efforts, my goodness, they need more people who speak proper English. Nothing is worse than struggling through a manga that’s translated the same way someone with broken English speaks. >.< I'm no grammar nazi by ANY means (Y'all know that), but geez... it's fucking unbearable. Proofreaders exist to curb those small flubs before they make it to the typesetters and such. But >.> srsly, if you can’t PR properly, don’t volunteer for it. A mistake here and there is fine, but when EVERY BIT OF DIALOGUE is made of broken English it’s impossible to read or enjoy the manga. I abandoned three mangas today because of that. I just couldn’t take it.

The other things is opinions. I steer clear of forums and stuff because the IY fandom taught me that fangirls are fucking retarded, and who wants to deal with them all over again elsewhere? So I just observe (usually when I’m looking for spoilerz) and I noticed this disturbing trend of scanlators arguing with/bitching at people who don’t like the manga they’re scanning. This is… flooring to me.

I don’t think I’m wrong when I say that the scan team didn’t create the fucking thing, right? So why take something like that personal? o.O Why are they even stalking the scans they release anyway (since they’re usually uploaded to multiple sites)? Like I said, I work with a scan group and I don’t give a SHIT about what anyone thinks of the mangas we do. Read them or don’t. *shrug* But to jump all over someone for expressing an opinion like, “I don’t really care for this one.” is just fucking mental. Hence, why I don’t bother with fucking fangirls (and boys). I’ve been out of high school too long (and sadly, so have many of them).

Two words: VAMPIRE KNIGHT.

Now, I don’t follow that manga. I intended to, but I couldn’t get past chapter three because it was so abnormally boring. But I still love Zero Kiryuu, so my kau got me the fanbook, anime box set, and a Zero plushie. (I fully intend to watch the box set someday, too.) But today, after seeing some comments on this manga, I read chapters 82 and 83. (Yep, all outta sequence, barely know what’s going on, etc) >.> I can only say that I’m so glad I didn’t invest in this. I still love Zero, but ungh. I can’t see wasting so much time on this like I did with InuYasha. I can practically SMELL an Kik/Inu/Kags ending here. You know, the one where he chooses Kags because Kikyou is dead. /sarcasm. It smacks of Zero being second on the list. It also seems that Kaname is “evil” now. Gee, only now? >.> He smelled evil from the start, but whatever.

I keep telling myself to give this a chance for Zero’s sake, but I don’t think I can fuck with this manga that’s already on chapter 83 (I hate long stories). Plus, I hate Kaname. I didn’t before, not really. I kinda ignored him because I was simply into Zero, so I didn’t love or hate him. He was just a non-factor, which is funny because I almost always choose the brunette over the light-colored hair. (Human Yasha, anyone?). But now? Yeah, at the very least, I want to see the chapter where he fucking dies.

Since I already smell another unsatisfying InuKags ending in this thing, I would like to content myself by watching Zero put that gun to his head and pulling the trigger (Unlikely). Or maybe we’ll get really lucky and he’ll figure out that he’s useless and off himself. There’s also scenario three where Yuuki puts him down like a dog past its 10,000 year old prime… (She can die with him, btw) Ah the possibilities are delightfully endless. Or, worst case scenario, he lives, which I’d be fine with, so long as he’s miserable doing so. Either die or live to suffer.

I’ve been into yaoi big time. It’s so funny because I used to hate all yaoi. It was just gross to me. Now, I love it. In fact, I read that 80% of the time because shoujo is so fucking cliche. It’s like every other story has the same scenario -like Mayu Shinjo. As much as I loved Haou Airen (well… I loved Hakuron IN Haou Airen), if I read one more of her fucking stories where the girl is some innocent VIRGIN getting chased all over the place for the sole purpose of being deflowered by a guy who looks like Hakuron (Can she even draw any other face??) I’m gonna spit.

I mean, sure, yaoi has repetition, but not nearly as bad as shoujo. It’s just fucking annoying, especially when the stories are long as hell. And I’m not into shounen ai, either. I don’t want a long build up to… a kiss. If you’re going there, go all the way, dammit. I’m proudly hentai and I wanna see somebody get laid! I read a shounen ai last night that was so fucking confusing, ridiculous, and BORING, it literally gave me a headache and I had to abandon it. Total waste of my time and so many pointless conversations between minor characters. UNGH.

Anyway, that’s my bitch fest for today. I’m off to shower and possibly write a bit before bed. ^___^

P.S. My physical copy of U-KISS’ new CD arrived at my house and I’m so giddy. Came with a nice sized poster, a picture booklet with lyrics, a long, hardcover book-like case, and of course, the CD. They package things differently in Asia (they’re better >.>). You really get something nice for the money. I’m quite happy. <3

I have stories to write, yet all I wanna do is read manga right now. Fuck.

And if you haven’t signed the petition for Trayvon Martin, DO THE RIGHT THING.

There’s a lot I want to -and will- say about this, but not tonight. For now, I’ll just say that anyone with children in their lives (don’t have to be yours) should be signing this petition and helping to put a stop to racial profiling and child murders. No kid should be stalked and murdered just 3 weeks after his 17th birthday when he was only trying to go home and watch the All-Star game on TV.

I got no writing done. I was already feeling shitty toward it since last week, and then doing Kouga/Rin just sucked the life out of me (Two characters I really can’t stand. They may even surpass my disgust or SessKags and that’s saying something), and people have been pissing me off all week with their nonsense and unnecessary snark.

I’m tired of a lot of people and tired of dealing with their childish bullshit. I’m not going to get all into specifics here, but I do know that I’m going to start cutting people off. I keep to myself in fandom, tbh. I don’t go out of my way to get chummy with people because they always end up proving to me that it was mistake. Every. Fucking. Time. It’s depressing, so I just “do me and fuck you” (so to speak). But yeah, scissor time is closing in.

I’ve dealt with enough assholes out here, and it’s to a point that I’ve yanked myself off the radar with the exception of my website and Deviant Art. Why? Because I want to be left alone. I want to write for the people who support my work and avoid every other dipshit who wants to “know” me for some petty, ulterior reason. If you’re my friend, then BE my fucking friend and don’t give me grief, don’t bring me snark because you want to be “cute” and feel “clever”, don’t attempt to use me or my so-called “name” for anything, because trust, I’m just like everyone else -an IY fan. There’s no “magic” to it. Sorry.

In other words, don’t go out of your way to make me dismiss you because I’m good to all my friends and I’m sick of tolerating less than the same, aight? I’m done with that. I honestly am, and I will cut anyone out of my world completely if I have to think about them negatively more than once ever again.

/Rant.

In nice news, I got my tweaked art back and the header is done. The skin will be up in a few days (been lazy this weekend), hopefully along with an update. However, it could be delayed if I update something that has a new skin waiting for it already. Either way, the new art is ASS-WHOOPING!!! ^_______________^

Here’s to a better week for all of us.