Beyond Redemption – Absolution

Category “Absolution”

OMG, I’m So Sorry!

Sunday, 3 March, 2013

Just a quickie.

I was on Absolution, preparing for the next update and the publishing dates on some stories caught my eye.  OMGosh…

I’M SO SOWWY!  Hit with Ball

Time passes before you realize it, and things that I think “wasn’t that long ago” are actually 2 and 3 years ago (and more). It just never feels that long (Except with the classics. They feel every bit of their length >.>), but everything else… fuck me. I had no idea that If I Want To began in 2011. That’s insane. I didn’t even realize… UGH. Hit with Brick

Well, rest assured that as long as my hands and brain are cooperating, I’m going to keep updating with some expediency for you guys. Yeesh. Just fucking nuts, I swear…

And special birthday thanks to: Kau, Neo, Moniquiu, Rhylee, Maria-nee-chan, and Am-ski for the lovely birthday goodies and all of the people who wished me a HB on Facebook, deviantART, and my inbox! I’ll be uploading wallpapers and a super-squee worthy fanart that Kau commissioned from one of my all-time faves, Sarah-Belle. I definitely think it’s for “If I Want To” so stay tuned. They will be in the gallery some time tonight!

Back to the Grind and the Hump Day Confessional.

Wednesday, 27 February, 2013

Last night -aside from some manga- I re-read and edited prior chapters in anticipation of the next update, which means writing will begin tonight after work. The hope is that it’s ready for mah birfday, so fingers crossed folks. And, of course, there will be some new art to go with it. (What’s a birthday without a present, ne? Well, even if I am the one giving it -haha).

Now, for the return of the Hump Day Confessional!

Today’s Confession…

The Art of Asking Too Much.

Had to dead another account. Not my favorite pastime, but I’m seriously sick of people coming at me with this false sense of entitlement when they don’t contribute a single word or penny to anything. *ban hammer time!*.  o_O

Nearly 100% of the time, when I respond to a review, the lines, “Thanks for the review. I appreciate it.” is in the text of the response. Why? >.> Because I appreciate it. I appreciate the time they took to let me know that the annoying CT pain and effort were worth it. I appreciate the acknowledgement that I don’t have to write -and most of the time- don’t want to write, but continue to do so solely for their entertainment. When I don’t reply to each review personally (because it’s probably too much on my hands), I often thank everyone through this blog. The kindness and support I receive is by no means lost on me and I always thank those who show me they care in some way or another. I can’t imagine not doing that.

But when people show me who they really are by plagiarizing my stories, stealing/using/distributing my commissioned artwork, talking shit like they actually know me, behaving as if I owe them something, or basically saying ‘so what?’ by deeming themselves too –whatever– to even do something as small as leave a review, that’s when I start cutting people off and making myself unavailable.

I think some people feel like it’s their god-given right to come into my site whenever they want, say or do whatever they want, and I should just let them without argument or complaint. They feel like they’re entitled to site access and how dare I want some positive feedback from the people who say they enjoy my fics. They feel that even though writing literally pains me, and I’ve lost a ton of interest in it, I should still write for the sake of writing, so long as they remain entertained. lol.

Seriously, when does that attitude work anywhere?

Everyone who becomes a member is told about the Terms of Membership in advance and they agree to it from the very beginning. So… how can anyone get upset because they’re being called out on 8 months of non-compliance (and in some cases, a full year)? There’s no one to blame here but themselves and there shouldn’t be any surprise if they don’t get back in because, come on, they were given a lot of leeway and still fucked it up. Some people also think that because they may -or may not- have known me since my MM days, they should just be exempt from the terms they agreed to. I think the fact that more than half a year went by with no administrative action on my part constitutes enough of a free pass.

Yes, I can be a bitch, but only when I’m pushed to that point. I’ve taken a lot of abuse in this fandom and have had to cut off many a bullshitter. Those who I call my friends are treated well and know that if they need me, and I can do it, it’s done. I have people that constantly buy/make/give me things just because, and somehow, I don’t think they would if I was some awful person. I’m exceedingly loyal to my peeps, and despite my initially rough exterior (Fandom bullshit is why that exterior even exits), once boundaries are established, I get along with pretty much everyone.

I also try my best not to act unapproachable. I may not always be able to reply in a timely fashion when I’m contacted, but I will reply, because I’m just like you -an InuYasha fan (Any fanfic writer or fanartist who acts like they’re anything more than that is full of shit. There’s no fucking hierarchy in fandom, no matter how these people behave). I write for my readers, as my heart has left IY fanfic a long time ago, so yeah, I do appreciate those who have shown me love. That’s why I don’t try to make money off their presence with annoying, shitty ads that would diminish their reading experience, nor do I post donation links, hounding them for money. I foot the cost of my server, domains, and all the artwork I buy to keep the site a visually fun place to visit. I “wrote” myself into a debilitating hand condition for the sake of entertaining and I did it all as part of my “thank you” to those who chose to spend their time with me, having a little fun and escaping reality. So maybe that’s why I find it so hard to understand those who have such an issue with leaving a 10-second, “Thanks for the update. I enjoyed it.”

I guess I’m still asking for a little too much. lol.

Not Yet.

Thursday, 21 February, 2013

I didn’t finish my chapter yet. I haz so rusty! T_T

This is definitely going to be short. >.> Then, it will be off to the next story, something that will be easier (hopefully). My hands are starting to bug me, but we’ll see if the braces keep it at bay for a while. I’m also not feeling that great and will be seeing the doc soon. Sigh.

I deleted another reader account today because bitches have lost their fucking minds if they think for a second that they’re gonna approach me in any way that is unfitting of a guest in my house. Shit, warnings are not even a consideration; that’s a straight up ban with a rerouting of all mail to trash.

I write to entertain, but I’m not a fucking servant, nor is anyone entitled to anything from me. I share my stuff because I want to, and I’m completing my stuff because I want to. The second I stop wanting to, it will end, just like the second any member shows me that they no longer want to be one, I will make sure they’re not. Very simple.

Now, how about a new poll? I’m going to list some older stories and you guys tell me if you’re interested in seeing the conclusions to them -and I mean traditional, written endings. Not just a summary of what would have happened. I may be able to do it, I may not, but it will at least give me an idea of what folks may want to see. Big Smile

Listen, Don’t Bullshit Me.

Wednesday, 20 February, 2013

Word to the wise.

If your account is locked, then you know why, because all the rules of my site were given to you when your membership request was approved. Now, since you know why you’re being blocked, don’t get cocky and try to bullshit me about what you did and didn’t do because I’m going to call you on your bullshit then ban you accordingly, got that? Yeah... Sure

I’ll explain this one more time for those who still don’t quite get it.

Reviewing isn’t optional anymore, nor is anyone required to comment on every single thing they read. Dropping a line every so often to let me know that you enjoy the fics and appreciate the effort is a small thing that takes you 2 minutes. Meanwhile, writing a chapter takes me hours, even days, along with a nice amount of CT pain. I feel, and rightfully so, that if my stories aren’t worth a few positive words, they shouldn’t be worth reading, either, and I will quickly relieve you of the ‘chore’.

So, if you’ve been fucking up and want back in, just own it, because most likely, the end result will be a warning. But the moment you start trying to BS me, I’m going to delete you.

And yes, it’s only fanfiction. But it’s my fanfiction and I get to decide who reads it.

Capiche? Big Smile

EDIT: For those who are still in a position to pop into Absolution, I’m about to update a blast from the past! I’m not done yet, but it will be sometime tonight, I’m sure.
*blows all the dust off* XD

ABSOLUTION: THE SWEEP HAS BEGUN

Thursday, 31 January, 2013

So, here’s the heads up. Before my next round of updates, I’ll be sweeping my memberlist. In fact, I’m almost done. A lot of people lost access tonight. For the curious ones, there will be one of three things you’ll discover on your next visit:

1. Normal Login: Your account is fine.
2. Locked Account: Your account is locked with the possibility of getting it back.
3. Username Missing: You’re deleted. There is no coming back.

I wasn’t kidding about reviewing and staying active. The size of my audience doesn’t matter to me, unlike so many others who will post all over the planet for hit counts. I don’t give a shit about that.

I’d rather write for 20 people who will leave a positive review, thus proving that not only do they enjoy the work, but the stress on my hands is well worth the pain and effort, as opposed to letting a bunch of ghosts have access who will review every blue moon, or in some bold cases, not at all, while still being able to come into my site whenever they want.

Naw, there won’t be any of that. lol.

Now that I’m getting my writing mood back (little by little, mind you), I want to post for people who have steadily shown my work love -and not just the ones who show up when I update something like The Neighbor. Nope, those people will most likely never see another chapter of that fic again. So, if you retain your account in the next 24 hours, good for you. You’ve reviewed within an acceptable time frame. If not, oh well. Shit happens. You were warned from the start.

Happy Thursday! I’ll definitely try to update over the weekend. 0.~

Puttering Along.

Saturday, 26 January, 2013

I’m working on another story I haven’t updated in ages, and no, it’s not The Neighbor. I need a certain mindset to pen that one and I’m not there yet. However, I found some music that immediately reminds me of that story, and that, combined with the new super-smexy art, has definitely been helpful in getting me in a “Neighbor” mood.

The one I’m working on now is more like my last 2 updates -something slightly easier to deal with. Then again, fluff is like torture for me, so I’m certainly suffering through it, especially since I still don’t really “feel” the writing yet. But on a good note, provided I can finish this chapter, some cute art will be posted with it that I think you guys will like.

I’ve been suffering from frequent headaches, too, and that certainly has impeded my ability to concentrate. But hey, at least I’m trying, ne?

I’m making member cuts soon for people who haven’t reviewed or made their presence known in some time. I already said I won’t let anyone lurk. If they’re not showing that they still actively read the stories, they’re getting dismissed because I no longer know why they’re there. I’m pretty done with all aspects of mainstream fandom. I suffer through trying to update for those who care enough to show some appreciation for the effort. If you’re not in that number, you’re getting cut and I won’t re-issue your account. So yeah, keep that in mind.

You’ll also get cut if your review pisses me off, so mind your manners. Yep, I know that sounds controlling. It is. That’s my house and I don’t have to cater to anyone but myself. I write for the enjoyment of others, as my own enjoyment for such things have long passed. Therefore, the moment that changes, they need to go. It’s just that simple.

In other news, I intend to keep updating as much as I can, despite the RL issues. Don’t expect awesomesauce -I’m fucking suffering here, lol. But I’ll never update again if I don’t force it, so even if they’re filler-ish, I want to post something as opposed to absolutely nothing.

And please don’t inquire about when ‘this’ or ‘that’ will be updated; your guess is as good as mine. Whatever feels like it might cooperate is what I’m updating. That could be a story for 4 years ago, or 4 months ago. It really depends.

And I missed the fucking postman today -he had the autographed CD I won from U-KISS.
AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGH.

Minor Relapse

Sunday, 6 January, 2013

My friend has been staying with me so there’s someone around to keep an eye on him. That proved to be useful in the wee hours of the morning. Apparently, he got pretty sick again and we were contemplating running to the ER. However, after taking his morning dose of meds, he gradually began to feel better. For a minute there, it was pretty scary because his condition can become life-threatening if he isn’t careful and chances are, we’ll be visiting his doctor tomorrow.

So, because of that going on through the night, I not only didn’t get a wink of sleep, I obviously didn’t get much writing done, either. I’m extremely exhausted right now, so I’m going to crash (Now that he’s better), so I’m not sure when I’ll have time to write again. It may not happen until Tuesday, but we’ll see how things go.

In awesomesauce news, I just approved the lineart for one of the coolest Neighbor fanarts EVER. The one you’ll see with the next chapter is pretty fucking awesome, but this one… there are no words for how cool it is. Trust me when I say it embodies their relationship quite well. lol.

In music news, I found a new band to love called Nell. I already adore 30 of their songs. They’re just brilliant. Eventually, they’ll be on Absolution (When I have the time).

Oh, and thanks to my lovelies for showing IHE some lurve. I plan to tighten my member list soon and I’m cutting people who frequently don’t review. I don’t need lurkers, so they have to go, but you guys are definitely safe. Sweet Kiss

Okay, that’s everything. I’m going to sleep.

Joey & Kat: I didn’t forget you guys. I’ll catch up with you when I get a minute to breathe. <3

Promise Kept… Sorta. >.>

Saturday, 5 January, 2013

Sorry I couldn’t update something before the 1st like I planned.  Zero inspiration + lack of time is a bitch. I wasn’t 100% satisfied with my update, but it flowed fairly easily, so I won’t complain. 3600+ words from a mind that isn’t thinking fanfic is a pretty good feat. lol. I plan to try it again, so keep your fingers crossed for me. The hope is that I’ll get several chapters off the ground in the coming weeks. They’ll all be around the same size, word count wise, which will be easier on me. Oh, and I left an interesting hint in the last chapter (if you follow that story), but you know the rules: No leaving theories in your reviews. Just ponder it on your own… Big Smile

In other news, I made my first member cut of the new year. Guys, I’m being dead serious. The rules at my site are absolute. I usually give people two chances to fuck up (Yes, I keep score), and when they do, I delete them without warning. No one is immune from that, because like I’ve said in the past, if you’re not there to enjoy the story, or if I feel like you don’t enjoy the stories, you’re gone without any warning and you will never get another account. Need a refresher on how things are? Go to my site and read the ToS. And no, I don’t feel like I’m some big deal and never have -don’t confuse me with other IY authors who think their shit smells like bakery biscuits. I just don’t subject myself to bullshit anymore -my house, my rules, or GTFO.

My friend, Ayling, made another artsie for me! She actually made this one first, but I only posted it now, so have a peek! She’s brilliant! Sweet Kiss

All right, I’m out! Gonna work on a new chapter tonight. Adore
And Abbs, you rock! <3

Anybody Ready for a New Story?

Friday, 5 October, 2012

Hehe…. Love & Kisses

Weekend Gone Bust!

Sunday, 30 September, 2012

So, I didn’t get to update this weekend because I had some things to do. Remember the Feudal Association? It’s time to get them onto their own server (I currently host them and they take up too much space), so I’m busy on that (should be done today, tho). I also PR for a scanlation group (No, I won’t tell you which and I don’t use my IG name) and I have some scripts to do (will finish that today as well). But from tomorrow on, I should be able to get some writing done.

I saw the poll. I’m surprised that “If I Want To” is actually beating “The Neighbor”! Haha! (Only by a single vote, but still… XD) I find that funny since people tend to bug me about the latter a bit more. Well, there’s new art for both of those, so look forward to it. ^^

Aight, I’m out! How about something I haven’t done in a while? Fanart!