Beyond Redemption

InuGrrrl turned 10 today.

I didn’t think I’d see this day, tbh. I thought I’d drop this hobby long before that, but here we are. So let me say a quick thanks to everyone who has supported my fics. I don’t write much anymore, not even sure if I ever will again, but I appreciate each and every encouraging comment and kind word you guys have given me.

It’s not easy to share one’s writing with the world; I learned the hard way that people are brutal, especially if you’re “different”, but my band of lovelies had my back from the start and never left. That has always meant a lot to me. So, thank you. Thank you for all the smiles, laughter, fun, and craziness. Even if I never pen another word, I won’t forget how great you’ve all been.

♡〜٩(^▿^)۶〜♡

Hey Guise!

My hands are acting up, so I’m not replying to individual reviews right now. It’s just easier for me to leave a message that everyone can see here.

First, thank you so much for all the kind reviews and well wishes. It’s been a wild 9 years, but I don’t regret a thing, not even getting carpal tunnel. Everything happened for a reason, and in the end, I wrote the time of my life -hehe- and met many great people. Thanks for acknowledging my contribution to this fandom.

Second, no, I’m not done yet. Being able to pen a chapter that I didn’t hate >.> was the sign I needed to continue on. I can’t say it will be fast updates, but you will get chapters, beginning with the ones you were promised in May (Argh. So sorry about that!). Once I get those last few done, I’ll spin the wheel and start doing random updates on the fics I plan to complete. Again, they will be short, and they won’t be lightening quick, but I promise to keep writing until I can close some doors for you guys.

If you haven’t done so yet, please participate in the poll. Now, more than ever, it’s important to have your voice heard if you’re still interested in the fics.

Okay, I’m out! How about some IY? It’s been a while…

So, today is the big day. InuGrrrl turns 9 years old (????) and I’m still kinda shocked about it. I totally didn’t expect to still be doing IY stuff all this time later, but I don’t regret a thing, not even the bullshit these nobodies put me through a few years back.

Their douchebaggery actually helped me grow because it strengthened my armor and made me a much more thorough person, which is actually a good thing since we’re always surrounded by dicks in life. lol. But it also taught me how to choose my friends wisely; everyone who is still in my life right now are cherished because they are, were, and will always be, the real.

Anyway, enough sentimental stuff! I’m hoping to update today and post a new skin for you guys, so I need to get to it. The chapter, as I warned in my last entry, will be really short. Sorry, but it makes life easier for me and I guess a short update is better than none, yeah? Thanks for the patience and I really hope I can eventually finish a few stories for you guys before I shut the door.

My best friend sent this to me, timed it so that I’d get it on my anniversary. Just how awesome is she?

It only took all day and all night -literally- but fuck me if I didn’t get that update posted at 5AM, lol. Now that’s determination! I’m gonna sleep like I’m in a coma for a few hours. Enjoy the update, go see the new art on the layout (and the commissions I posted at my gallery), and thanks for hanging out with me over the last 8 years. It’s been a slice! (ɔ˘з˘)ɔ

Finally, my friend is being discharged from the hospital. He’ll be on medication, but his condition is much better than it was when this first started. He’s in good spirits, no pain, and is more than ready to get the hell out of there after almost 2 weeks. He’ll be staying with me for a while so I can keep an eye on him, but otherwise, things are good and a BIG worry is off my shoulders.

I did some writing over the last 2 nights. OMG, I’m so fucking rusty. I wasn’t feeling it at all -and that worries me. You know, I told you guys that my biggest fear is staying away from fanfic too long and not wanting to come back. Well, that fear is worse than ever! The words were just giving me hell. Nothing wanted to flow.  It was downright painful.   So, I don’t know when a chapter will be ready, but seriously, don’t expect greatness. It will take a while for me to find my footing -and interest- in my stories again. And it’s not like I forgot anything; every plot, even the ones from 2006, are still fresh in my head. It’s the actual work of writing them out that’s fucking me over… I’m hard on myself, unnecessarily so, and coupled with lack of interest, well, you get the idea.

Everyone I owe mail to: I haven’t forgotten that I owe you mail and I’m SO sorry I’m a total butt and haven’t gotten around to doing it yet. Forgive me -it’s almost 2013!   Okay, the new year doesn’t have anything to do with it, but still…

In other news, IG [dot] Net will be getting a new layout for 2013. Nothing too fancy, since it’s really just a directory, but I think you guys will like your provocative Grrrl! Eternal Destiny turns 6 years old on Tuesday, and to celebrate, a really good friend of mine, Moniquiu, made a special header/wallpaper for the occasion. I usually buy new AU fanart, but this time, I went with a canon motif. Last, but never least, Absolution will show off a new skin as well (Not associated with any story). Let’s just say it’s when “worlds collide” and signifies that no matter how you prefer InuYasha, he is one and the same.

And yes, I’m still obsessed with Kevin Woo and U-KISS. He’s just SUCH a cutie patootie! Especially when he’s dressed like this:

Dayum.

Aaaaaaaand, my beyond awesome friend, Ayling, made some fanart for my fanfic!! I think its for If I Want To (She enjoys that one a great deal, and coincidentally, that’s the one that’s been giving me fits these last 2 days…). It’s SMEXY!!! <a href=”http://inugrrrl.net/gallery/displayimage.php?album=59&pos=0″>Wanna seeeeeeeeee?</a> I got some other pretties you guys would L-O-V-E from Man-Man (Who’s probably reading this!), but I don’t want to post them until she’s finished/ready to show them. But whoa, you’re going to adore her stuff. I know the most talented people!   Im also working on another piece for the neighbor. I’ve asked my darlin’ Sarah to do it this time and think you guys are gonna enjoy it greatly. Now if I could just get the damn chapters written so you can get hit two-fold.  ARGH.

Happy Friday!

Today InuGrrrl turned 7 years old. Gasp! It’s been that long, eh? Well, trust, it feels like it. >.> I’ve accomplished quite a bit for a hobbyist writer and I’ve definitely dealt with my fair share of assholes along the way. But God don’t like ugly, and those who knowingly engage in the bullying/stalking/harassment of others, particularly people they don’t even know, cyber or otherwise, eventually get what they deserve. So I brush them bitches off mah shoulda and keep doin’ IG.

I’m still trying to achieve a miracle update of some sort, and if I can get it posted by midnight, I’ll at least be able to say that I posted something on my anniversary. *fingers crossed* If I don’t, well, life happens and nothing will fall apart if I don’t update today, know what I mean? But I am working on it, definitely.

Anyway, kau made a cute little gag pic for me. 😛

Okay, it’s 1am and I’m actually sleepy. I’m gonna crash and get up early to tackle this thing. I’d say I’m past the halfway point (this update will be a little long), and if I get up early and really put my head into it, I just might complete something…

Oh, and there’ll be a new skin in a few hours, too. ^___^

EDIT 12:30PM: My anniversary art is ready (It’s awesome), but the skin is not, so you won’t be seeing that one today. However, you WILL be seeing another shortly. ^^

EDIT II: Welp, I did it. I managed to update before midnight and I’m pretty happy with how it turned out. There’s a new skin up, too, though you may have seen it before because Absolution was being a brat and leaked the skin weeks early. *grumble* But that’s okay, there are more of those where that came from, so expect some with the upcoming chapters. If you’d like to see the full, original art for my surfer boys, I’ll be posting it in the story art category at Decadence shortly, so check it out and thanks for 7 years of fuckery! ^__________^

Just had to stop by to wish my peeps a HNY! Hopefully, we’ll all have a great one free of drama, headaches, and health scares (that turn out to be real >.>).

I started my first day of the new year by taking care of myself like I said I would. I don’t like all the changes I have to make, but I want to live so I’m gonna do them. It’s not so awful, I’m realizing, as I get used to things, but it’s necessary.

I’ve also decided to end some ‘friendships’ for good, if you can even call them that. You pretty much know when someone is full of shit, and I’ve known this about several people, so I’m cutting ties in their entirety. Yes, this includes online people. I’m a bit sick of people who think they’re something important or who act shady when I don’t bend to their will. They’re not worth knowing because I’m not going to change the way I think for anybody. Fuck them with a fork. I’ve been civil and avoiding drama, but I’m at a point that I don’t care about that. I don’t want to know them, so I’m not going to.

I’ve also made a resolution to write more. I know I don’t feel that bright spark that I once did for fanfiction, but that doesn’t mean it’s lost forever. I let myself get hurt along the way, I let my inspiration die out, and I’ve been hard on myself -all for no good reason. Fanfic is supposed to be fun, not “serious business”, and I want to find the fun again so I can finish what I’ve started for the ones who matter: My supporters. I also have my original to bang out, so I gotta get off my lazy ass! (Oi, no agreeing with me! >.>)

Today is also Eternal Destiny’s 5th birthday. Yay! \o/ It started out as just a little gift to my friends and lovelies, but it grew into that cute little house on the end of the street. lol. It was never meant to be a big place, and it never will be, but it’s home to many and that’s something to be proud of, ne? Make sure you visit and grab your anniversary gift.

Anyway, I hope you guys have a great, prosperous, and truly happy new year. Don’t let people bring you down over silly shit, don’t forget about the things you love and why you love them, and don’t let anyone, FRIEND OR FOE, tell you “NO”. Don’t ever give away that power, and thanks for brightening my days with great reviews and encouragement. <3

As I embrace my sixth year of being InuGrrrl, I have to say that the memories amaze. It started with a simple oneshot after discovering IY in early 2005. I saw a trading card of Sesshomaru and freaked because cartoons weren’t supposed to be that cute. Then, I was made to watch the first 3 episodes and the first movie. That’s when I met InuYasha and it was GAME OVER.

I loved him instantly, and when I saw him turn human a few episodes later, I knew he was the “one” (haha). I started researching IY and watching all the episodes I could get my hands on. Then, while googling, I stumbled across a fanfic written by Angelbabe17. I think it was Club Blue or the “Camp” one… I don’t remember, but I lost myself in her works and then started reading fanfic every waking moment. I’d literally spend hours reading, wasting all of my spare time, lol. Good times, though. It just amazed me that people could take my favorite characters and make all new worlds and stories -and there was smut! Delicious, fat-free smut! 😛

I was in heaven!

I don’t know if I ever said so, but Angelbabe17 was my fanfic inspiration (Turns out, she inspired my beloved Lucient as well) and is the reason why I delved so hard into Alternate Universe. I just seriously enjoyed the freedom of it -there were no rules to follow. I could place them in an American setting. I can haz smut -it was fantastic. And I’ll always be glad that I found her that day because that’s what jump-started me.

About 5 months later, I wrote my first oneshot. “The Realization of Love”. It was okay, nothing special. But it was nice to get my feet wet and it was my first lemon (gah!). It got a decent reception, with encouraging reviews, so I made more. It was genuinely fun for a while, writing my stories just for the sake of loving InuYasha and actually having others enjoy them. My grammar was for shit, admittedly, and I fell into a couple of cliche holes in the very beginning because I was so new to the IY storyline and hadn’t seen the entire series (of what was distributed), but once I got my feet firmly planted, I was off and running! 😀

I made several more oneshots, then started my first serial –Breaking The Girl, which, shockingly got a lot of reviews. (And I still don’t know why) It was a High School fic that I literally plotted as I wrote. I mean, on any given day, your guess would have been as good as mine on what was going to happen in the next chapter. I also took a lot of consideration with the readers, trying to add more of what they wanted to see and such. Kau just recently started adding all of my reviews to my site (So my archive can be semi-accurate when I finally close and save it), and I was really quite shocked by how much love it got. Over 300 reviews, and at the time, about 200k in hits. Looking back on it, that story was a mess, full of errors and such, but it was still fun to write.

I think my next serial after that was Suicide Rain, which did even better, and in between, I was still doing oneshots for my “Blood & Roses” series like The Last Tango, Vision of Love, Crush the Night, and so on. I think I was opening multi-stories from the start. In 2006 alone, I had started Edge of Seventeen, Sengoku Medical Center, Crucify My Love, Pretty Brown Eyes, even Hikari…

I won’t go into details; today is a good day and I want to keep it that way. However, I went through a lot of shit after I became “known”, and none of it was right or made sense, but as much as all those assholes can kiss my ass, I also thank them for making me feel so completely alienated from this fandom that I erected Absolution. If it wasn’t for their ignorance and douche-baggery, I’d still be fucking with public sites. So, thank you kindly. 😀

Now, for the shout outs!

“The HOA/EX Fam”: You guys are gold, my fucking sanity in this shit. Your jokes and craziness has always made the bullshit disappear, so thanks for that. *squishes y’all*

Kiki’s Angels: My beloved, whip all kinds of ass, super-talented artists. How much do you guys rock? Thank you for all of the wonderful art, both gifts and commissions. You’ve put many, many smiles on my face. 😀

My Staff -and the ‘Too Cool for the Room’ Neo: Thanks for all of the tireless, unpaid, but oh, so appreciated work on my sites. You guys are wonderful, truly, and I thank you.

NEOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!: YOU ARE THE BEST. EVER. BELIEVE IT.

My Onna: You’re my other “mom” and one of the most important people in my life. My prayers are with you. You’re loved always.

My Lily: You have no idea how many times you got me through the day. I’m so glad I met you; your loyalty, friendship, and ridiculously fantastic personality makes my day everyday. You’re loved in NYC!

My Chibi and Lucient: I love you, guys. Thanks for being with me for everything. We had the best of times, ne? *Hugs tight*

Last, but first, My Kau: You are my best friend and only kau. I know I don’t have to say anything more. *snugs and ( *o(^*?) *

To all the nice people I met along the way who took a minute to say something kind, draw me a picture, or even dropa friendly PM or e-mail, thank you. The small things do count.

The Lovelies: Gosh, some of y’all have been with me so long. It’s been an awesome ride, despite it all. Many thanks to those who have always supported the work with a review, e-mail, etc. It’s always appreciated and served as a reminder that I have more of a reason to do this than just aggravating my carpal tunnel. I also want to thank y’all for the great art, fics, AMVs, and good times. Whenever I finally lay down my pen, you’ll be missed.

Now to bring Absolution’s 5th birthday in right with a chapter for every year she’s been my home!

The site is open. New skin. Updates are posted. Thanks for reading.<3

First, flowers…

Well, now that she’s said it on Facebook, I guess it’s okay to talk about it. The other day a friend of mine passed away. His mother is like my own mother. I call her “Onna” and you’ve seen her name all over my site, I’m sure. Her son, Michael, aka Mikey, left us on the 25th, but I found out a few days later. To say it was devastating is a real understatement. This is someone I’ve talked to and joked with, and to hear something so sudden happen to someone so young throws everything for loop and really makes you question what’s important. He’ll be missed, especially by his Mama who doted on him. It’s a tragedy when a mother has to bury her child. I hope he’s resting peacefully, finally free of all that ailed him. <3 Now, bricks... Do you know what a brick is? Someone I used to know told me they were the stupidest people alive, and this weekend, I can say with absolute certainty that I dealt with a fucking brick. The situation doesn’t warrant more than that -at the moment- but trust me, I was accosted by a blend of stupid that was so potent the shit oughta be bottled. It should be against the law to be such a self-important, delusional dipshit. For real.

Then there are surprises…

Isn’t it funny when people pull stunts and their nonsense gets followed by good karma -for you? This morning while I was working on a site for some friends, my little brother, Danga surprised me with a gift commission for my 6th anniversary next month! He was reading my old story, Fatality, and decided to get a little Yasha portrait done for it (He says I don’t give that fic any love ’cause it has no art and such 😛 But I actually am having art made for it after my next commish is done. But anyway…). It’s super cute, too!

I usually make a new fic for my anni, but I dunno… Should I follow the tradition? I usually give myself a lemon fic for my birthday and a normal fic for my anniversary. I have a story I want to do for myself, but I haven’t started any of it yet. If I can slam down the first chapter, I’ll definitely post it. I even have art/a layout ready for the story -it’s just not written. So, we’ll see.

Okay, time to rest. I pulled an all-nighter, and I actually want to write later on today. I’m working on another old one, and a couple of news ones. The old one is closer to completion, though.

Well, here we are. Five years, 70 fictions (71 now), 17 websites, and a big ball of drama, both good and bad.

When I started writing, I never foresaw all of this. I expected to write out a few ideas and have a little fun in this newly-discovered thing called InuYasha. But then it turned into… this. And that’s not to say this bumpy ride has been shitty. Nope, being in the IY fandom has taught me tons of shit, but I won’t bore y’all with it. I’ll just say that I’ve quoted this before and it still holds true:

“You could be anywhere in the world, but you’re here with me. I appreciate that.”

-Jay Z

For my 5th anniversary as InuGrrrl, I decided to treat myself with 3 new skins. 2 of them are for The Neighbor and 1 for Hikari. 😀 All of the headers were created by my home slice, Neo, (Including the new header on this blog) and you know when she touches it you get gold! I hope y’all enjoy them (Remember, to see them, you’ll need to use the skin changer on the homepage.).

I’ve also ordered an anniversary plushie from Notoes with a hand drawn face by Maria. He’s for The Neighbor (Mixed with a bit of Ayamegusa’s gift art), and he’s going to be the cutest little thing. He’s even got nipple rings! 😛

Last, but not least, I’ve posted the prologue of a new fiction. I wrote this a while ago, but I think now is a good time to start it. It’s very short -below 10 chapters- and a rather simple love story, but I think I’ll like penning it. I have no idea why I keep writing fluff-oriented shit when that’s clearly not my forte, but I came up with the plot ages ago. Maybe I was fluffier then. lol.

I’m finishing up The Neighbor and a couple of others. My hope is to have something new for y’all by the weekend. I’m in that “wrap it up” mood again, so I really want to work on lingering stories. The last time I said that, I actually closed out 3 of them, so wish me luck!

And finally, I give y’all my thanks. There were so many times I wanted to walk away from my writing, my hobby, my enjoyment because I was letting trolls get to me. But because you guys stuck it out, I stuck it out, and here we are. 5 years and we’re still doin’ dat shit!

Thanks for making them so memorable. <3