Beyond Redemption

So, I was up all night (though I swore I’d stop that) watching horror movies, but just before bed, I did my “rounds”. Meaning I checked my sites, various accounts, etc before I shutdown. Well, I’m so glad I stopped at Deviant Art (now that I can even get in. My net was on “lite” for 2 days and I couldn’t get into any high traffic sites without timing out) because the talented Moniquiu made another wallie tribute for Hikari. It’s super cute and I was so honored. I love wallpapers (Neo, Am, and Moni make ’em best!), so I’m all smiles and I even feel like writing again. Yay! \o/

I think I may even be ready to pick up If I Want To again as well. I haven’t been wanting to touch that one since the whole Kaname thing, but it is a gift fiction, Amber is actually glad that I got rid of him and chose Light (apparently, she’s a HUGE Death Note fan), and with 109 reviews for just 3 chapters, I think I owe it to y’all to get back to work. The new art for it is not ready yet *grumble* but the moment it is, it will be a skin for you to get a kick out of. xD In the meantime, at least other art will be showing up soon. 😀

And I love K-pop. I just have to say that. I’m disgusted by what happened with Jay Park and the group, 2pm (I’ll bitch about that another time), but I don’t judge other musicians by the stupidity of some of their countrymen. Some really great stuff comes out of there and my iPod is filling up fast! I especially like some of the boy bands (sue me!) like Teen Top -wah! 😛

So cuuute! I wanna be 17 again so I can molest Chunji! xD
(OMG! Shameful, overage fangirl moment. He should really be my otouto!)

Okay, bedtime. I don’t have to work, so I’m gonna sleep all day (kinda) then get up and do nothin’!

This is a lil pic of Chunji (and I so don’t care who doesn’t think he’s kawaii because I do!).

I just got the nicest surprise! My chick, Jayna, had some giftart made for Money. Power. Respect. It’s a scene from the first chapter of InuYasha having a loving moment with his mate before his life went haywire.

Admittedly, it’s one of my favorite chapters in that fiction and one of the first times I ever introduced an OC (Tanisha). It was definitely the first time I had an OC be his love interest, so this was a lot of awesome firsts for me and I love that she liked it enough to have it immortalized.

Ages ago, someone asked me if I’d ever do a small prequel for that fiction, chronicling InuYasha and Tanisha’s relationship before everything went down. I didn’t think about it much at the time, but who knows? I may end up doing a short novella at some point. MPR has such “epicness” to it as far as the amount of craziness in the plot that maybe it deserves to have a “full” story from start to insane finish. Hm….

Have a peek!

LOVES. LOVES. LOVES!

(Pause my music and watch that. It’s just adorable!)

I was feeling so tired and blah that I ended up going to bed last night at 9pm… just to wake up at 2am! So, I check mail and then go to see if I have any duties awaiting me at Deviant Art (I run several groups) and WHOA. The fabulously talented Cati-Art, who makes the most beautiful Sess/Kikyou art I’ve ever seen (I know that pairing may seem odd, but she makes it work -and secretly, I’ve messed with that pairing myself… but anywho!) gifted me with some Human InuYasha AU art for my 6th anniversary. It was such a surprise and I was so freakin ecstatic! She made him look completely scrumptious and I thank her profusely! Have a peek! ^_^

NOM… NOM… NOM…

As I embrace my sixth year of being InuGrrrl, I have to say that the memories amaze. It started with a simple oneshot after discovering IY in early 2005. I saw a trading card of Sesshomaru and freaked because cartoons weren’t supposed to be that cute. Then, I was made to watch the first 3 episodes and the first movie. That’s when I met InuYasha and it was GAME OVER.

I loved him instantly, and when I saw him turn human a few episodes later, I knew he was the “one” (haha). I started researching IY and watching all the episodes I could get my hands on. Then, while googling, I stumbled across a fanfic written by Angelbabe17. I think it was Club Blue or the “Camp” one… I don’t remember, but I lost myself in her works and then started reading fanfic every waking moment. I’d literally spend hours reading, wasting all of my spare time, lol. Good times, though. It just amazed me that people could take my favorite characters and make all new worlds and stories -and there was smut! Delicious, fat-free smut! 😛

I was in heaven!

I don’t know if I ever said so, but Angelbabe17 was my fanfic inspiration (Turns out, she inspired my beloved Lucient as well) and is the reason why I delved so hard into Alternate Universe. I just seriously enjoyed the freedom of it -there were no rules to follow. I could place them in an American setting. I can haz smut -it was fantastic. And I’ll always be glad that I found her that day because that’s what jump-started me.

About 5 months later, I wrote my first oneshot. “The Realization of Love”. It was okay, nothing special. But it was nice to get my feet wet and it was my first lemon (gah!). It got a decent reception, with encouraging reviews, so I made more. It was genuinely fun for a while, writing my stories just for the sake of loving InuYasha and actually having others enjoy them. My grammar was for shit, admittedly, and I fell into a couple of cliche holes in the very beginning because I was so new to the IY storyline and hadn’t seen the entire series (of what was distributed), but once I got my feet firmly planted, I was off and running! 😀

I made several more oneshots, then started my first serial –Breaking The Girl, which, shockingly got a lot of reviews. (And I still don’t know why) It was a High School fic that I literally plotted as I wrote. I mean, on any given day, your guess would have been as good as mine on what was going to happen in the next chapter. I also took a lot of consideration with the readers, trying to add more of what they wanted to see and such. Kau just recently started adding all of my reviews to my site (So my archive can be semi-accurate when I finally close and save it), and I was really quite shocked by how much love it got. Over 300 reviews, and at the time, about 200k in hits. Looking back on it, that story was a mess, full of errors and such, but it was still fun to write.

I think my next serial after that was Suicide Rain, which did even better, and in between, I was still doing oneshots for my “Blood & Roses” series like The Last Tango, Vision of Love, Crush the Night, and so on. I think I was opening multi-stories from the start. In 2006 alone, I had started Edge of Seventeen, Sengoku Medical Center, Crucify My Love, Pretty Brown Eyes, even Hikari…

I won’t go into details; today is a good day and I want to keep it that way. However, I went through a lot of shit after I became “known”, and none of it was right or made sense, but as much as all those assholes can kiss my ass, I also thank them for making me feel so completely alienated from this fandom that I erected Absolution. If it wasn’t for their ignorance and douche-baggery, I’d still be fucking with public sites. So, thank you kindly. 😀

Now, for the shout outs!

“The HOA/EX Fam”: You guys are gold, my fucking sanity in this shit. Your jokes and craziness has always made the bullshit disappear, so thanks for that. *squishes y’all*

Kiki’s Angels: My beloved, whip all kinds of ass, super-talented artists. How much do you guys rock? Thank you for all of the wonderful art, both gifts and commissions. You’ve put many, many smiles on my face. 😀

My Staff -and the ‘Too Cool for the Room’ Neo: Thanks for all of the tireless, unpaid, but oh, so appreciated work on my sites. You guys are wonderful, truly, and I thank you.

NEOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!: YOU ARE THE BEST. EVER. BELIEVE IT.

My Onna: You’re my other “mom” and one of the most important people in my life. My prayers are with you. You’re loved always.

My Lily: You have no idea how many times you got me through the day. I’m so glad I met you; your loyalty, friendship, and ridiculously fantastic personality makes my day everyday. You’re loved in NYC!

My Chibi and Lucient: I love you, guys. Thanks for being with me for everything. We had the best of times, ne? *Hugs tight*

Last, but first, My Kau: You are my best friend and only kau. I know I don’t have to say anything more. *snugs and ( *o(^*?) *

To all the nice people I met along the way who took a minute to say something kind, draw me a picture, or even dropa friendly PM or e-mail, thank you. The small things do count.

The Lovelies: Gosh, some of y’all have been with me so long. It’s been an awesome ride, despite it all. Many thanks to those who have always supported the work with a review, e-mail, etc. It’s always appreciated and served as a reminder that I have more of a reason to do this than just aggravating my carpal tunnel. I also want to thank y’all for the great art, fics, AMVs, and good times. Whenever I finally lay down my pen, you’ll be missed.

Now to bring Absolution’s 5th birthday in right with a chapter for every year she’s been my home!

The site is open. New skin. Updates are posted. Thanks for reading.<3

Well, I was lied to. My back began to behave and I thought the worst was over, but it looks like it’s only beginning. I’m in a tremendous amount of pain from re-injuring it and this shit acts like it’s spreading, so I must have hurt myself completely anew. Yay. Just sitting here to type this is an ordeal. The fuck.

And in fun news, Kau and I were playing with a dollmaker (along with photoshop) and I made cute stuffus. xD

So…. cute….

The whole gang is here!

And of course, I traded in Hanyou for Human…

Can you tell I was bored? >.>

Just wanted to poke my head in here and wish everyone that visits this blog a Merry Christmas. I’m cooking again, but dinner will be a bit simpler than Turkey Day. I haven’t slept much, so I’m not overdoing it. Plus, I don’t want left over food like last time. Da Grrrl no likey leftovers! 😛

I also want to thank everyone that has shown the new story some love. I appreciate it. I’ve been in more of a writing mood than I have all year and I’m taking advantage of it. I banged out a 9k chapter for Pas De Deux, and on a whim, I did two 200-word drabbles for Saraste’s InuMir group at Deviant Art this morning. I know y’all don’t vibe on boylove that much, but I like it, and wanted support the group, especially since it’s very new. I posted the drabs to Absolution a while ago with a little Xmas surprise -one of the skins I haven’t showed off yet. It’s for Treasure on the Tide, and sometime this weekend, the full picture will post to my gallery -and it’s really fucking awesome. Animaker131 is the artist and she really captured the idea I wanted. It’s dramatic, and gorgeous, and purely Yasha. 😀

New chapters will be coming soon for several stories, but I’m putting most of my concentration into Pas De Deux right now because I need to finish it in a timely manner so I can start working on KeiChanz’s fic.

And last, I’m a little pissed at Apple. My iPod has been acting tarded, and after some research, it seems that the newer versions of iTunes have corrupted the iPod classics, particularly my model. That irritates the fuck out of me because this thing was $250 bucks and never had ANY issues until this. So now I get to back up 474 video files from my iPod (I have the 2000 music files on my comp, but not all the vids, which is why I have to back up), “restore” aka ERASE it, and then hope to get it to sync and work again with an older version of iTunes. Such bullshit should only be saved for haters. (-_____-)

Anyway, HAPPY HOLIDAYS! <3

Howdy Visitors! ^_^

I haven’t updated a bit and thought that now, at 6am on a Sunday morning, it would be a good time! 😀

How y’all be?! Basically, things on this end are okay. As you know, I suffered a pretty nasty carpal tunnel flare up that’s forced me to take it easy. (Now you know one of the main reasons why I can’t update the way I used to). For those that have never experienced carpal, think of it as aching, tingly, awful pain that starts (for me) at the fingertips, up the hand, past the wrists and when it’s really bad, up to the shoulders. It’s from so many years of typing my heart on on fanfiction, sometimes all day/night for way too long. Now, I get to suffer, lol. However, despite that, I was able to update The Neighbor a second time and I appreciate all the great feedback. It was nice to know that my pain was appreciated.

To pass the recovery time, I’ve been reading manga again, and for the last 2-3 days, mostly yaoi. Everything from hardcore to soft shounen ai. I really like that stuff! Pretty boys making sex with each other (yes, I said making sex) is a bootiful thing! xD (Though, the hard ones can really make me cringe at times. I really dislike yaoi rape/torture in a big way.)

Right now, I’m reading “Our Kingdom”, which is a cute teenage thing. It’s been licensed, so it’s very hard to find, but you know your Grrrl. She found it online and for download. Really darling -almost inspires me to do a cute little Inu/Mir based on it. But, eh, who knows. Yaoi is something I only dabble in because it’s so adorable in the right circumstances. At heart, I’m hetero and hardcore I/K. And FYI, yuri is an automatic out. Can’t get into that at all.

I’ve also been reading a lot of taboo shit, like incest manga (I limit that to bro/sis, hetero/yaoi twincest, and cousins). I did read a father/son by accident once (it was like 16 pages, so once I hit page 5 and knew where it was going, I said, “Fuck it. I won’t die if I read the rest.”). It actually inspired a seriously twisted story in me, but… I don’t know if y’all can/would want to handle something like that. I may still write it, though, for no other reason than to prove that I can. Heh.

Another one I’ve read that was pretty decent is “Cantarella”. It’s a fantasy/historical on the Borgia Family (Cesare, Lucretia, etc) and the crazy shit that went down with the Catholic church. Not sure what’s true and what’s pure fantasy (I’m not Catholic), but it was pretty wild and the art -wow. The main character, Cesare, looks amazing in most of the frames and colored inserts. But I have to ask. Why are manga characters drawn so out of proportion? o.O Their arms and legs are always way too long and thin and they just look tarded. >.< That can ruin a look for me completely. And now that I've read so much manga/manwha I've also discovered that Rumiko Takahashi is not a good artist at all. Yes, I went there. Fanartists smoke her to the 10th. Her Yasha is like a prototype that other people made amazing, and compared to most other mangaka, her art is just terrible. The anime art is better, and Kikyou always looked good (no shock there *eyeroll*), but Kagome and InuYasha. >.> Or is that Kagome and Rinne since he’s InuYasha with red hair? Yeah, lame art there. Sorry, lady. But hey, it didn’t deter me from loving InuYasha, and having him redone a zillion times in fanart, so…

Anyway, I’ve also discovered that I like more manwha (Korean manga) than Japanese manga. I dunno… I find their bishies incredibly hot too much of the time. Like this one (ignore the blonde kid):

So. Effin. Cute. I also find their stories more interesting. They really seem to “go there” and that makes their stories a bit more fun -for me, anyway. Yay for manwha!

On updates. I haven’t started anything yet (besides Age of Innocence for Jesse and Fallen), but there will be some soon. I feel like writing, so it won’t be long, provided my hands play nice. I have 3 new skins ready, too, and one of them is The Neighbor finally. I ended up doing that header myself (I should have stopped being so mega lazy and did that all along), so you’ll definitely see it when I update again. I also ordered some new art from Maria -my awesome nee-chan- and that should be really smexy. It’s another InuYasha/Kagome (what is that about lately?! I never commish her…). I don’t know if I’ll make it a header, but it’s for GFE, so it will at least post with the fiction. Yeah, I did mention a GFE before, but that didn’t work out to me, and that’s all the comment I’ll give on it.

Last note: If you’re an Eternal Destiny member, nominate some fics in the last Destined Awards. I won’t be doing them anymore after this term, so it’s the last hurrah before I lock that gate.

Ok, arm hurts, so I’m out. I’ll try to get some updates posted this week. ^^

EDIT: I finished Our Kingdom and LOVED it. What a cute, fluffy, sweet yaoi manga! It was so enjoyable! I didn’t expect it to be as much fun as it was, and I’m actually going to buy the series for my manga collection. I wasn’t super wild about the way the two main characters were drawn, but some of the other ones (like Raul -who may as well be Kouga) are really cute and it’s just an all around adorable series. Squee!
Definitely going to read this mangaka’s other works.

Okay, I’m off to mail gifts to my 3 nieces aka Neo and Jenny’s babies. Yay for Xmas and birthdays!

I think the title says it all. 😀

So I’ve been piling up on the art lately. I bought 5 more pieces this week. 3 of InuYasha for myself, representing different fictions, including a fiction that was actually inspired by the art (a first for me!). One for a friend of mine (I don’t want to say anything until I have it in my hand because it’s a surprise), and one for Carrie, who has a birthday coming up. That one, I’ll show you. The IY ones are for my website, so you won’t see them until the layouts are ready. But they’re REALLY cute, and one is for Hikari.

There it is, Carrie’s Light & L of Death Note. Pretty neat, eh? I like Light -such a cutie.

I know I said I wasn’t going to do any new fics outside of 2 or 3 super short giftfics (oneshots and such), but I came up with a plot I really like based on real life events that’s just begging to be written, and who am I to say no to Yasha? 😛 So, expect something on that soon (and it’s IY/K).

And while we’re on fics, I want to thank everyone that have been leaving such nice reviews at Absolution (and fanfiction.net). It’s appreciated, especially at the latter site because I’m about ready to cut that place off. I get a lot of fave author/story/etc, but not a lot of reviews. Well, Hikari’s last chap got a whopping 25 reviews, which surprised me. Absolution didn’t do so bad, either. But the reason why I’m hating on FFN is:

A) My audience was never really there, so I don’t pay that place a lot of mind. They usually get fics when I remember to post the chapters, and they only have 25 out of 72 stories. I decided a long time ago that they’d never get anything new from me again, only chapters for existing stories there.

B) For the last month I haven’t been able to use the site at all. Like, I can log in and stuff, but the options for the drop menus on the account page stopped working. Of course, as usual, no mods have addressed or fixed the issue, and when I finally found their “help forum” after having to search google (because I couldn’t find the link on the actual site), I learned that I wasn’t the only one dealing with that. And it wasn’t a surprise that no mods actually manned the help desk -members were doing their best to try to help each other, and that’s just sad.

So, after following the advice of helpful member, I was able to get the menu to work on Opera, but Firefox and Safari are still a no go. So I posted Hikari along with a warning that it may be the last time I post anything there and all the reasons why. Between the chronic, unchallenged plagiarism, the stuff that doesn’t work, the uploading and formatting issues that constantly arise, the complete lack of help with all of the above from mods, and the hit or miss reviews, I don’t see the point of bothering anymore. And it’s not like I’m saying, “If you don’t review, I’ll stop writing story X, Y, or Z.”

No, I’ll just stop posting there, period.

At Absolution, it’s different. If a story doesn’t get any love by way of reviews, I really will stop writing it because that shows that you guys aren’t interested in seeing a conclusion. Unlike FFN, my site is private, so you can’t fave my fic and let me know in that way that you’re really into it. It has to be said with words, and if the words can’t be mustered in reviews, they won’t be mustered in chapters. Mhmm, I know. It smacks of ultimatums, but as I’ve said a billion times, writing isn’t easy for me anymore. I won’t kill myself to continue stories that get no appreciation, because isn’t that really what a review is? To me, it’s just a small way of saying, “Thanks for taking the time to do this stuff for my enjoyment.”, because let’s face it, the day is rare when I do it just for my enjoyment anymore.

So, if you want more chapters, say so in the way that counts.

I fucked up my sleep schedule -again- reading manga and I’m so mad at myself. But dang it, it’s a cute manga! It’s this “school life” yaoi I found by accident, and though there’s no smut, it’s still a cute little read. I’ll probably post this then go back to read more at 1am. *hangs head* I’ve also been structuring the new fic out and making a lot of headway. Why can’t I do this with EVERY story?! I’m having such a hard time nailing down Ms. Goddess’ fic, which is, like, 2 years overdue. But this, I was able to slam it down fairly quickly. Probably because the other one is canon.

DAMN YOU, CANON! *shakes fist*

Okay, I’m out. Something will hit Absolution soon, just not sure what.