Beyond Redemption

It’s mah birfday!!!

I received really wonderful gifties from my friends, which I’ll show/share with you guys later on, and lots of birthday wishes, so huge thanks to those people who took a moment to remember a Grrrl. You’re the bestest! 

In lieu of cake, I really wanted a giant waffle cone filled with vanilla and rocky road and I’m eating it now! WAH! So good! (Yes, I’m like a kid with cone!)

I’m also finishing the next update. I’m not leaving off where I originally wanted to, but I do want it posted today, so I’m going to get this last scene finished, edited, and posted in the next couple of hours. This chapter was heading into the 5k direction, anyway, so it really was time to stop since I want to keep chapters a certain size. I’m pretty much over going above 5k anymore, with the goal being somewhere between 3k and 4k. It’s easier to update with that goal in mind, it will take you guys less time to read it, and it will make things safer for my hands -everybody wins!

See ya in a few!

EDIT: Welp, nearly 6000 words (3k more than intended! XD). I’m doing a quick edit, then posting, so pop in at Absolution in about 15 minutes. Yay!

There is good news (for me) and “meh” news (for you guys).

The good news is that I got the coolest gift bag yesterday from my girl, Neo! She made some awesome Kevin Woo graphics and lovely wallpapers created with some of my commissioned art. One is from an art that you guys haven’t seen yet, so I won’t be posting it to my gallery until you have. The other, I liked so much, I plan to make it a header at the site. It was a fantastic early birthday gift!

*Squee*

The “meh” news is that I’m not happy with how my update is coming. I haven’t posted on this story for a long time, so it’s bound to be like this after such a big hiatus, but sill, grrr.  I’m at the halfway point, I guess, but I already know that I probably won’t be satisfied with the final product. Yes, yes… We’re often our own harshest critic, but I know what I like and what I don’t. However, at this point, I’ll take an “okay” chapter rather than continue to bury it in the backyard like a body. >.>

Either way, me thinks there should be an update come Saturday.

Oh, and I spent the morning listening to Breaking Benjamin. Let me just say that they’re fucking brilliant. If you haven’t listened to them, what the hell are you waiting for?! What a fucking voice, especially on the acoustic stuff. I’d love to see them live…  An Absolution playlist will follow at some point, I’m sure.

EDIT: Well, I literally spent the night writing since I don’t have anything to do for the whole weekend. (I refuse to do shit on my birthday weekend, dammit!). I’m still not done, but it’s flowing a lot better than it was. This one will be a bit longer than what I’ve been doing lately since I have a lot of ground to cover, but it won’t be some 8k monster. Those days are kinda over.  So, I’m off to sleep now (at 10:30 am). If I don’t go see Warm Bodies tonight, I’ll try to finish up and post sometime tomorrow.

I took a break from writing yesterday and today. My hands and mind need it, but I do want to try to update something by my birthday on Saturday. In the meantime, I’m reading yummy yaoi checking out my notes to see what will get written next. Wish me luck!

(And my Rhyeeeeeeeeee-Bread: Nothing ever applies to you. Remember that!  Mail soon. )

EDIT: I wound up reading and watching hetero/shoujo smut manga and anime. Go fig! lol.

How awesome is that?

In other news, I’ll be done with my update later today, I think. I haven’t updated this one in a while, but since it will be complete soon, I’m trying to get those last few chapters tied up. My goal is to get some of the minor stories finished so I can put all my time into the ones that just started (Like FToP and IIWT) and the ones that are ‘fan faves’ like GFE and MPR, which still have several chapters to go. I’m thinking about polishing off a super old one, too, that is very near completion. I’ve lost all interest in it, but for the sake of ending it properly, I’m considering finishing off the last two chapters (Or making one big chapter). No promises; I’d have to pretty much read the whole thing again in order to find my footing, and it may end up feeling rushed, but it’s a possibility.

Ciao!

First, thanks to everyone who has wished my friend well, either by e-mail or in reviews. I appreciate it a lot. Things are not really better. He’s experiencing swelling and a lot of lightheaded-ness that makes doing just everyday, routine stuff very difficult. He had an appt on Friday and that turned into a mess and we’ll be getting another doctor as soon as possible. (This is NOT the doc who treated hm at the hospital. This is an outpatient doc). He got NO answers, and chances are, we’ll be in the ER again sometime soon. He acts sicker now than he did when he was severely ill and that doesn’t make fucking sense to me. It’s difficult here around here because this is consuming a big hunk of my time, which means I’m neglecting other things. So when I see a doctor’s office like that, it just pisses me –the fuck– off when I see this lax, bullshit care…

Anyway, I’m home today and trying to write, and I swear, I hate writing. At this point, if I never see another fucking fanfic I wouldn’t give a shit. I spent an hour on 3 paragraphs (Yes, seriously). I don’t know how I even devoted so much time to this shit in the past. My friend’s birthday is today and I really wanted to update a story she likes (Because I’m definitely not starting another new one) and I’m so fucking irritated by my lack of inspiration. This story, especially. There are some fics that almost never get updated because, secretly, I hate them. I don’t tell you guys that >.> but I’ve fallen completely out of love with them and just want them to go away forever. However, so many people have devoted time to them I’d feel like a total heel if I didn’t try my best to finish. But God, I’m in HELL. I start to feel physically ill when I push and stress myself to update certain stories and I already feel it happening this morning.

All I want to do today is relax with some manga and hot tea, and even that isn’t possible since I’m constantly in near crisis with my friend (already started a little while ago). So having that on my plate, plus the stress of trying to write this story that I don’t want to touch is just… URGH.

UUUUUURRRRRRRGGGGGGH.

Neo finished the header for the new “Neighbor” art. It’s one of the most gorgeous headers she has EVER done. You guy will be pleased. I just wish the internet wasn’t full of fucking thieves and idiots who don’t understand the concept of  “Publicly posted doesn’t mean free to use however you like without consent or even credit.” because this really should be seen in all its glory without my massive watermark… but it is what it is.

Oh, and meet Haewon of X-5.

Only in k-pop can boys where eyeliner and still get my phone number.

However, Zin is actually my favorite.

Okay, I’m done.

Finally, my friend is being discharged from the hospital. He’ll be on medication, but his condition is much better than it was when this first started. He’s in good spirits, no pain, and is more than ready to get the hell out of there after almost 2 weeks. He’ll be staying with me for a while so I can keep an eye on him, but otherwise, things are good and a BIG worry is off my shoulders.

I did some writing over the last 2 nights. OMG, I’m so fucking rusty. I wasn’t feeling it at all -and that worries me. You know, I told you guys that my biggest fear is staying away from fanfic too long and not wanting to come back. Well, that fear is worse than ever! The words were just giving me hell. Nothing wanted to flow.  It was downright painful.   So, I don’t know when a chapter will be ready, but seriously, don’t expect greatness. It will take a while for me to find my footing -and interest- in my stories again. And it’s not like I forgot anything; every plot, even the ones from 2006, are still fresh in my head. It’s the actual work of writing them out that’s fucking me over… I’m hard on myself, unnecessarily so, and coupled with lack of interest, well, you get the idea.

Everyone I owe mail to: I haven’t forgotten that I owe you mail and I’m SO sorry I’m a total butt and haven’t gotten around to doing it yet. Forgive me -it’s almost 2013!   Okay, the new year doesn’t have anything to do with it, but still…

In other news, IG [dot] Net will be getting a new layout for 2013. Nothing too fancy, since it’s really just a directory, but I think you guys will like your provocative Grrrl! Eternal Destiny turns 6 years old on Tuesday, and to celebrate, a really good friend of mine, Moniquiu, made a special header/wallpaper for the occasion. I usually buy new AU fanart, but this time, I went with a canon motif. Last, but never least, Absolution will show off a new skin as well (Not associated with any story). Let’s just say it’s when “worlds collide” and signifies that no matter how you prefer InuYasha, he is one and the same.

And yes, I’m still obsessed with Kevin Woo and U-KISS. He’s just SUCH a cutie patootie! Especially when he’s dressed like this:

Dayum.

Aaaaaaaand, my beyond awesome friend, Ayling, made some fanart for my fanfic!! I think its for If I Want To (She enjoys that one a great deal, and coincidentally, that’s the one that’s been giving me fits these last 2 days…). It’s SMEXY!!! <a href=”http://inugrrrl.net/gallery/displayimage.php?album=59&pos=0″>Wanna seeeeeeeeee?</a> I got some other pretties you guys would L-O-V-E from Man-Man (Who’s probably reading this!), but I don’t want to post them until she’s finished/ready to show them. But whoa, you’re going to adore her stuff. I know the most talented people!   Im also working on another piece for the neighbor. I’ve asked my darlin’ Sarah to do it this time and think you guys are gonna enjoy it greatly. Now if I could just get the damn chapters written so you can get hit two-fold.  ARGH.

Happy Friday!

She made a wallpaper to match ED’s new calendar. Sooo cool!!!
See the full thing at my gallery!

Just popping in to wish you guys a Merry Christmas! I’m spending the day at the hospital, but I’ll be back this evening and will finally take that all-important first step to finishing one of my many half-written chapters. My friend is doing much, much better, but he still can’t come home yet, so Xmas is coming to him!

And speaking of, I got another awesome gift today -and so did Eternal Destiny. My friend, Moni (The one who made those gorgeous Hikari wallpapers), made a personalized 2013 calendar for me! It’s fucking awesomesaucebbq! When things calm down, I’m heading to the print shop to get it done on card stock. It’s made for a desk, and she made one for ED’s deviantART group as well! Picture?

And this is the one for ED:

Want one? Go check out the Secret Santa giftfics over at Eternal Destiny -that’s where you’ll find the download link.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

She wanted to cheer me up with all that’s going on with my friend in the hospital and she did so, twenty fold!
Take a peek!

Hey y’all! *waves*

I’m in a good mood today -can you tell?

My Coheed & Cambria tickets showed up over the weekend, so I’m on CoCa countdown! Woo!

Thanks for all the kind reviews on Knife of Romance. It actually feels really nice to be “back” and I want to keep it up for a while. My hands are a little annoyed, but not enough to stop, and since inspiration is bitchy with me, I want to do what I can now. I haven’t written a lemon in a long time, so it meant a lot that you guys enjoyed it (Your Grrrl be rusty!). I’m also working on another ‘fan fave’, but it’s giving me trouble. Same rules apply, guys. It won’t be that long (4k or less), and forgive the lack of awesome. At this point, I have to write something on it, or I’ll be stuck in perpetual block forever. This story just… isn’t a favorite for me, so I block on it often even though it should have been completed ages ago.

I owe so many people mail, too: Joey, Summer, Boudou (Thanks so much for all the info!), and several others. >.<

I’ll definitely try to sit down and get it all answered this week.

Man-Man: Did you hear the new playlist? Haha!

Abbs: You rock!

Aisha: I’m probably gonna toss more stuff straight onto the site for a bit because I’m so behind, but when I’m properly caught up (a little), it will be back to business. 😀

Okay, I’m out. I’m kinda sleepy (haven’t had a full night’s sleep in a couple of weeks), but I want to get more writing in before I get too tired. ^^