Beyond Redemption

…And, of course, I didn’t finish what I was trying to do. Sigh.

*Crawls to bed*

I loved this guy. Despite all his problems and difficulties, I totally loved him. He’s one of the stars of one of my favorite movies, Grease, and I always had a soft spot for him ’cause he was just so funny -even when he was high. I remember seeing him on celebrity rehab when the “team” he was on was like, “We wanted to toss you out, etc.” He was like, “Well you should have! Why -the fuck- didn’t you?! You know what? Take your fucking show and shove it up your fucking ass!”

I laughed my head off! But it was also sad because you could see that he needed help. It’s just so sad to find out that he’s completely gone from the world. Death sucks. It just does.

I got a note today from another author that I like and respect. She’s leaving fanfiction and took a minute to tell me and say goodbye. I won’t say her name because this is her private business; she’ll announce it if she chooses to. But I feel awful. Seriously. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve never felt closer to doing that myself these days, or if it’s because anyone “leaving” just feels terrible after having so many people of note die in my life. Not that she’s dying or anything remotely close, but it is the death of something, you know?

In any case, her presence will be missed and I’m glad that anime gave me a chance to meet her, and many other people that I’ve come to like and admire. I guess, for once, the rumors are true. The good authors are walking away. Makes me wonder who’s next, and if that someone is me.

Well, if you didn’t know, the LCD screen on my computer went blewy, trapping all of my files and stuff on that computer. NIGHTMARE does not begin to cover it because it happened at 9pm on New Year’s Eve. Just hours before I was supposed to do Eternal Destiny’s goodie bags and anniversary stuff. I was fucking DISTRAUGHT, because while I have 2 more computers, that was the one I used the most and it had all of my files on it. >.< With the help of Kau and Amber, I was able to still get everything done on time, but I spent a harrowing 4 days with no access to any of the stuff on my HD, thus making several things late. >.< But I got lucky. I was able to get a new computer yesterday, and because Macs rock, I was able to connect this one to my old one through firewire and transfer all of my files off there, so I'm back in business. I have all my fic notes now, and all the stuff that's really important (like my 5000 music files :D) and I can get back to doing my thang. But again, harrowing experience. I’m addicted to my computer and the thought of losing it for any reason… *shudders*

So I’ll be taking the old one to the shop (the HD and superdrive work fine, so if I can get the monitor fixed, I’ll have a 4th computer loaded with software) and using this one for the duration. I’ll also stop screwing around and buy an external HD so shit like this can’t phase me if it ever happens again. *prays that it doesn’t happen again*

And I want to give a quick thank you to all of the new people that have been at the site leaving reviews (well, you may have been around all along, but I just didn’t know who you were because you never said anything). It was nice to come back to so many kind words, especially when my mood is all spiked off getting another comp. I definitely plan to start writing soon, so just bear with me while I get situated in my new house. ^_^

This has been a terrible weekend. To start, my cousin was burned alive in a fire on Friday night. I say it that gruesomely because it was that gruesome. Her body was so charred that dental records will be needed to identify her. What makes it more awful is that it could have been avoided. I won’t go into details, but I’m severely pissed off by the entire incident.

If that wasn’t enough, my little cousin’s first stalker (yes, because there has been more than one), is not only back, but that asshole showed up at my place trying to plead his case -even though that case was closed at least 8 months ago, thus alerting us to the fact that he hasn’t moved on from his obsessive crush. That’s just fucking great. Now we get to worry every time she leaves the house because he’s obviously got serious issues.

Then I had a slight issue with someone on Saturday evening. It eventually straightened itself out, but I was seriously mad for at least 30 minutes and it caused me to show a slice of my bitchy side, which I don’t like doing. But again, all’s well that ends well and I was satisfied with the final result. Plus, it was not long after I learned about my cousin, so I was feeling especially raw and time-bomb-y.

The new skin for Halloween at Eternal Destiny is finished thanks to the talents of Neo and a dA artist named Rootslove. So here’s to hoping you guys like it. I should be getting my “Neighbor” art from Maria-nee-chan soon, too, and then a new skin for Absolution will go up. So, things are looking good on that front.

As for the fics, I’ve pretty much marked off what I don’t plan to continue. If anyone is upset by the choices, what can I say? Some, I just refuse to finish. Others, I can’t finish because I just can’t find the words or don’t have the time/interest to devote. There are a few stragglers that I haven’t labeled yet, but only because I’m undecided. If all of this causes people to stop reading my work, ah well. Can’t give you what I no longer have.

Truth be told, this is the first time I’ve ever seriously killed off fics, so I don’t think I’m that far away from ending this altogether. Therefore, since I’m in a cutting mood, when I do update, I advise you guys to review the chapter, because if I don’t see reviews, I’m going to kill the story off. And this is not a “hostage” situation. This is a “lighten my load” situation. I don’t want to waste time writing stories that you guys aren’t interested in reading anymore when I can devote my time to other things. And the only way I’ll know this is if you review and say so. If you don’t review, I’ll just kill the story. It’s pretty simple for me now that I’ve done it a few times.

Gift fics will still get written and mailed to their recipients (I’ve done that in the past), but I won’t put new chapters on Absolution if I killed the story there. I’ll just format it in an ‘easy to read’ way and then send it to your inboxes. 😀 So don’t worry, I won’t leave you hanging if I can help it.

I probably sound fucked up, but that’s where my attitude is. I’m going to concentrate my efforts on works that see appreciation and my gifts stories (whether y’all see the latter or not will be up in the air, though).

And that’s it for the “update”.

I’m behind on blog responses (I’m working on it!), but I have to say that people really make me laugh, and not in that “Haha, you’re so clever.” way. More like that “LULZ, you’re such a fucking douche.” way.

Courtesy of Nikkie!

/fuckery.

Now, for the suck.

I use Opera almost exclusively now, but it has bugs and shit that irk the fuck out of me. Like the way it handles Gmail. For some reason, google likes to ignore Opera as far as technology goes, hence why gmail acts fucking RETARDED when accessed through Opera. So, I decide to use the their mail client to import my gmail stuffs to make life easier. Wrong.

WRONG.

That shit is a nightmare and I quickly plan to delete the entire thing. I keep mail pretty organized for the most part. I have labeled folders, archives, all that. Well, this shit just imports EVERYTHING as UNREAD in my inbox, thus making life much, much harder. Urg. Worst 10 minutes of my life! lol. So, it’s off to find an easier way to deal with this shit. The fuck?!

EDIT: I deleted that mail account. Yay! 😀

And I won’t even get into google’s takeover of YouTube and the complete ASSHATTERY of their new login system, which has hundred of people locked out of their accounts. Did you know that you have to have a gmail account now in order to have a YouTube account? Oh yeah. Can someone say antitrust laws? WTF? I’ve had gmail for years, but if someone else has yahoo, eudora, or hotmail, they should be able to have a fucking YT account without creating a gmail account! ::hard eyeroll::

Oh, and with any luck, I should be updating this week. Yay!

ANOTHER EDIT: I just finished my last duties for InuRomp and have officially retired from the comm. Hurray for having less work!

Happy Monday!

What’s going on with me?

I haven’t updated in several days, and I’m not holding out much hope for anything soon. My inspiration is fickle, and to be honest, the lukewarm response I got to my last few chaps have put me in a mindset that I don’t need to rush anything out. You either didn’t read it (Not), or didn’t like it (Probably), so what is the point of pushing myself? I’ll get to it when/if I feel like it. I doubt it will matter in the least.

Mhmm. Someone did piss in my cheerios. I always get like this at this time of the year. Tomorrow is the anniversary of my mother’s death and for about 2 weeks before and a week or so after, I’m a really different person. Not as nice, not as calm, and not as gracious. It’s my time of grief and reflection and it just puts me in a different space. I’m not really asking anyone to understand it, or even care. I am, however, saying that you’ll have to deal with it until it passes or just avoid me. *shrugs* Whatever works for you.

To combat my nastiness, I’ve sunk myself into facebook apps (games) and it’s awesome. I’m hooked on Castle Age and Vampire Wars and a few others that have helped me pass the time and not think about what’s coming. Yeah, finally gave in and got myself a Facebook. I always said I never would, but when I switched ED’s page, I kept the established account for myself. I chit chat with those I know, but mostly, I play games. It’s fun and it works. So, there ya go.

Speaking of ED, the awards there is going on and this is the schedule. When they end, the voting for the Eternal Legends will start. Visit the site -it’s pretty awesome. The premise? The ED Hall of Fame. Beginning retroactively, every eligible story that has ever placed first in their category will compete against each other for their own page on the site. Necessary? No. A gesture of kindness and acknowledgment? Yes. Like the Destined Awards, the only catch is that you need to be a member of the site.

I’m thinking about redecorating Absolution again, but I have no idea of what I want in the way of fanart except a Human InuYasha. It’s kinda like I pretty much have all of the neat pics I could ever want, but you know how I roll. There can never be enough Human InuYasha. I’d like another installment of “The Wicked Garden” skin, which would be a replica of the art Nikkie commissioned for my birthday. It’s from the fiction she gifted me and it was drawn by the sensational RighteousRed. I’ve gotten many commissions from her and she never disappoints. The wicked, Neo, created the background for it, and when the two images met, it was instant delicious -as you’ve seen. All very kind and gifted people.

InuRomp (my other IY comm on LJ) has started up and Salome suggested we try a new format where we have people pick a pairing and one of two sets of prompts. Then, they write 15 stories at 300 words each. This will go on until the end of Dec. (while I’m busy) and I’ve committed to InuYasha/Kagura. Did I mention it’s an alternative pairing comm? No traditional canon couples. Yeah, I’m stunned that I did it, too. But hey, it’s different and some of the stuff people come up with is great. Join if you want -just make sure you have your birthday in your profile. Now, here’s to hoping I can keep my word and write these ficlets. Argh.

Okay, I’m gone. Just wanted to pop in since I know I’ll be a little scarce. I can still be reached by e-mail and all, but otherwise, see ya later.

I didn’t even know about it until today. Death fucking sucks.

Welp, I finally posted the next chapter of The Knife of Romance, and needless to say, I’m still not happy with it. Basically, it’s been written for over 2 weeks, maybe three, and I just hated it so much that I refused to publish it. Instead, I wrote and re-wrote, tweaked and cut stuff, but it was no use. I guess it was one of those chapters that just wasn’t going to get any better. I posted it. I’m over it. Blah.

I didn’t get to watch The Rules of Attraction yet. I didn’t have the time. I spent the entire night messing with KOR and was just too tired to start a movie at 6am. However, it may go on the wait list anyway. Danga has been poking me to watch “Behind the Mask” and I downloaded it yesterday, so that will probably come first.

I want to write, but I’m wondering where the words will come from. It’s like I’ve got a bunch of ideas, but when it comes time to execute, they’re a jumbled mess. I even have several new stories that I have to write (gifts/requests) and I’m hoping I can pull them off. Some of my lovelies have been waiting on them for a long time. Makes me feel awful.

I stopped cooking again. This is my second night in a row of ordering dominos pizza and sandwiches for my cousin and I. Their sandwiches (the chicken, bacon ranch -though I hold the ranch) are really good despite their “breadiness”. So some of that with a bottle of iced tea should suffice for dinner and maybe give me some energy to complete the other 2 partially written chapters on my desktop (Okay, there’s like 12 of them, but I’m looking at 2!).

I’ll write up a review of Behind the Mask when I’m done. Let’s hope it’s better than The Lost Samaritan.

EDIT: Okay, I started “Behind the Mask”. OMG, I’m so bored. >.< 20 minutes in I paused it and I haven’t picked it back up yet. I will because Danga rec’d it, but lawl. o.O

I also forgot to post a pic. How about some Ian?!