Beyond Redemption

My friend was admitted to the hospital yesterday after a 2-day tint of pain. Not even sure what’s going on yet, but he’s in ICU. Sigh. Really pissed off at his idiot doctor -and him- for not telling me sooner so I could help him avoid this. I think it’s severe food poisoning (Stay away from Subway’s veggie sub >.>), but there was something else wrong, too -more of the problem he was hospitalized for before. It’s sad and all he has is me. I doubt I’ll be able to update anything by my anniversary, not unless he makes it home by this weekend. My fingers are crossed, but that’s for him, not a stupid fucking story.  Couldn’t even make my dental appointment. Fuck.

I have stories to write, yet all I wanna do is read manga right now. Fuck.

And if you haven’t signed the petition for Trayvon Martin, DO THE RIGHT THING.

There’s a lot I want to -and will- say about this, but not tonight. For now, I’ll just say that anyone with children in their lives (don’t have to be yours) should be signing this petition and helping to put a stop to racial profiling and child murders. No kid should be stalked and murdered just 3 weeks after his 17th birthday when he was only trying to go home and watch the All-Star game on TV.

I’m writing The Neighbor (Yes, I’m sure many of you were waiting to see me say that) and as usual, hating it. It’s a difficult story to pen for many reasons that I’m not going to get into here (and no, none of them are personal. These are author issues). I’m not guaranteeing when you’ll see this update. Just know that it is being worked on and you shouldn’t expect much because I’m making it very short. It will probably be the story that blows my fucking FA month (since chances are it won’t be done in time). I’m so annoyed with this stupid story. Honestly am.

That is all.

OMFG. What a shitty birthday! (-____-)

So, my net went down on the night of March 1st, leaving me with what I call “watered down” internet. There was some shit gone wrong in my area and everyone, or most people, were subjected to this weak-as-all-hell service that would only let us get on certain low-traffic sites. I was basically locked out of everything that mattered until yesterday. URG. But Kau kept me sane (what would I do without kau???)

However, it was REALLY nice to come back to so much birthday love. I got tons of messages from Facebook and Deviant Art, a ticket to see Janet Jackson this month from kau, gift art and cute lil doodles, and a killer wallpaper from my girl, Am, and the art I bought for myself was finished right on the big day. I was able to access my e-mail, so it was awesome to get to see it. And it is GORGEOUS.

It’s for All The Things You Never Say, and I must admit, Sarah drew my OC perfectly. She’s truly an amazing artist and SO sweet! If you haven’t visited Absolution yet, you should. I made a skin with the characters, but the true beauty is in the finished art with the original background. That, you can find at my gallery. It is LOVELY!

In other news, I have a gang of e-mail to catch up on. So if I owe you (and you all know who you are) expect it soon. I’ms till catching up on everything. 4 days without net is like a lifetime! Gah!

In fanfic news, I’m going to attempt some writing later on, so you may see something soon. Other than the old skool fic I’m doing, I’m not sure what else will get touched. I still have to take care of Nutella (I’ve been drawing HARD blanks on her plot and I feel awful because this was a contest win >.<). I'm also thinking about closing my fanfiction.net account. I hate that site. I always have. It looks and runs crappy too much of the time, it's a safe haven for plagiarists, and there are assholes there by the boatload. I've long stopped fucking with public sites for my fiction ever since I learned that many moderators and site owners are unprofessional, irresponsible, and classless. However, I stayed on FFN, and even added more stories to my account there, when I started getting plagiarized so that I'd have a more of a presence. It didn't help. I still got plagiarized, and the mods there still didn't do anything about it. (There are plagiarized stories there from years back that have hundreds of complaints and reports, and guess what? They're still there!) So, yeah, kinda done. I’ve already discontinued many WIP updates there, but now, I’m thinking about deading the whole thing.

Anyway, that’s it for now. ^_^

It’s warm outside, but inside my apartment is cold. I haven’t slept like a normal person in a while, either. I have block, and it’s fucking up everything. Life has been sucking for quite some time, too. The things that were once so much fun just feel like work. Maybe I’m just burned out, i don’t know. I don’t necessarily feel it, but I won’t rule it out. Won’t even mention the almost daily migraines… Oops. I guess I mentioned them.

I’m sick of people. Okay, people is too broad a stroke. I’ll say “certain” kinds of people instead. I hate people that grin in your face while they’re making moves. I hate how fucking fake people are, so I’m a fan of giving what I fucking get. I hate how people who are supposed to be your friends have really closed ranks then want to act shocked when they’re called out on it. I hate identity theft; be yourself because it’s fucking transparent. We know you’re waiting to see what we do next so you can copy it. *hard eyeroll* I hate plagiarists who steal someone’s original work, change a few things, then pretend they didn’t gank it. I see that all the time and it infuriates me, especially when I can name the source of their thievery. Talk about admiring someone to death.

And before conclusions are found and jumped to, very little of that pertains to me. Some does, but the majority of that is my opinion on shit that’s going on with friends.

But then, there are the cool people, like BrokenRose who surprised me with a slew of reviews for Knife of Romance. lol. I love hearing how someone was ready to shy away from that fic due to the subject matter, but then gave it a chance and loved it. That seems to be the story of that fanfic’s life. It’s one of my favorites, I admit, so it’s always gumdrops when someone else enjoys it, too. Then, there’s my kau who made me that sweet video! But that’s my road dawg for life, so she don’t really count. The cool folks I know from various sites, the IG Lovelies who always leave some comment luv that cheers me up, and, of course, “The Fam”, who can do no wrong, (not even my bratty kid brother)…

Rambling now.

Anyway, I guess it’s one of those days when the glaring, ridiculous actions of others are magnified, making me wish they’d fucking go away, or better yet, never showed up in the first place. Wishful thinking, I know, but let me have my dreams, aight?

New poll up. Seriously.

Just wanted to poke my head in here and wish everyone that visits this blog a Merry Christmas. I’m cooking again, but dinner will be a bit simpler than Turkey Day. I haven’t slept much, so I’m not overdoing it. Plus, I don’t want left over food like last time. Da Grrrl no likey leftovers! 😛

I also want to thank everyone that has shown the new story some love. I appreciate it. I’ve been in more of a writing mood than I have all year and I’m taking advantage of it. I banged out a 9k chapter for Pas De Deux, and on a whim, I did two 200-word drabbles for Saraste’s InuMir group at Deviant Art this morning. I know y’all don’t vibe on boylove that much, but I like it, and wanted support the group, especially since it’s very new. I posted the drabs to Absolution a while ago with a little Xmas surprise -one of the skins I haven’t showed off yet. It’s for Treasure on the Tide, and sometime this weekend, the full picture will post to my gallery -and it’s really fucking awesome. Animaker131 is the artist and she really captured the idea I wanted. It’s dramatic, and gorgeous, and purely Yasha. 😀

New chapters will be coming soon for several stories, but I’m putting most of my concentration into Pas De Deux right now because I need to finish it in a timely manner so I can start working on KeiChanz’s fic.

And last, I’m a little pissed at Apple. My iPod has been acting tarded, and after some research, it seems that the newer versions of iTunes have corrupted the iPod classics, particularly my model. That irritates the fuck out of me because this thing was $250 bucks and never had ANY issues until this. So now I get to back up 474 video files from my iPod (I have the 2000 music files on my comp, but not all the vids, which is why I have to back up), “restore” aka ERASE it, and then hope to get it to sync and work again with an older version of iTunes. Such bullshit should only be saved for haters. (-_____-)

Anyway, HAPPY HOLIDAYS! <3

I need to vent and I don’t give a shit who feels what about it. I have a fucking gripe, so fuck that. (-_-)

I’ve been catching the new episodes of InuYasha, and I have to say, if they were looking for me to be more compassionate toward the Kikyou-fucking-SAGA that has been going on all this time, I’m not. If anything, my mellowness toward her is all but gone. I mean, yeah. In the beginning, I made her a villain just like most Inu/Kags fans did because, fuck it, we hate her ass. However, I have since mellowed in a big way and have even made her a good guy in several stories. So, in essence, I have learned to tolerate her.

Yeah, well, I’m pissed off now. It was bad enough that we had to sit through that dragging manga for over a decade, watching, with increasing agitation, as RT fawned all over Kikyou and shit all over Kagome. (Yes, I said it. ) But to see that shit played out live and in color really pissed me -the fuck- off.

Last week, we got to see InuYasha bitch up, BAWL over her -and KISS her- when she finally, FINALLY ate dirt. This week, we get to see him depressed and ridiculous. Next week, we get to see the “blood tears” episode (a manga chap I would BURN if I could) and I’m just sickened.

They are splicing manga chaps left and right to make it all fit into what we assume will be 26 episodes, but isn’t it funny that none of the Kikyou-related shit is being cut out? Naw, we get to sit through ALL of that, and why? Because she is clearly the creator’s favorite.

Am I the only one who feels fucking cheated?

I don’t give a RAT’S ASS about the fact that InuYasha and Kagome ended up together in the end, not when she is clearly (and thank you, Selina!) a consolation prize. Yes, she IS. Who really fucking believes Kagome would be his first choice if Kikyou had lived? Come on…

RT has made it abundantly, ridiculously, disturbingly clear that InuYasha is, and will always be, stuck on Kikyou, and as someone that has invested time and money into this shit for YEARS, I feel completely fucking hoodwinked.

If it was all about Kikyou, why not make this a Inu/Kik manga from the start and stop jerking us around with the 3-way bullshit? We got NO kiss, at all, EVER. We got NO confession of love. We got NO wedding.

WE GOT NOTHING.

That’s bullshit, and sadly, I can see why some people do Kagome/Sesshomaru stories. Some people just can’t forgive InuYasha for all that he did to her, and if I didn’t love that hanyou bastard so much, I’d join them. But really, we know who’s to blame in this. His creator, who people seem to endlessly praise as if her drawing hands are attached to God’s wrists. ::hard eyeroll::

Is InuYasha a stroke of brilliance? Absolutely.

Is she talented and awesome? Without question.

Did she do right by the Inu/Kags sect? Hell no, and I don’t care who doesn’t agree with me.

I’ve been sealing up this rant for AGES, but after seeing that preview, I couldn’t hold it in another minute. RT makes me HATE InuYasha at times, and I fucking despise that about her.

So, it comes down to this: Will they take a few liberties with the anime and give us something that will properly validate the Inu/Kags relationship, or will we get that same fucking slop we got in the manga? I’m leaning toward the latter. Shit, if it wasn’t for the movies, which, from what I understand, aren’t really in her hands, we would have NEVER seen a kiss between them and that’s fucking sad.

If we don’t get something decent, I’m not going to be buying any new merchandise for myself. Fuck that. Why should I financially support this millionaire when I can’t even get a kiss between my favorite pairing? Naw, let the other suckers continue to fill her pockets.

EDIT: I feel so much better now that I’ve finally vented, lol. I think being hungry (I hadn’t eaten all day) contributed a lot to my snarkiness, but I still mean what I said. We need proper validation or I’m just totally writing that manga off. Yes, it IS complete, but what makes something legendary? The fact that no matter how old it may be, it is still appreciated and revered. I’d like to feel that way about InuYasha, but at present, I really can’t.

You know, I keep a small inner circle. They’re my road dawgs that I tell just about everything to because they have my trust that way. But when one of them vanishes, albeit due to their own very real, and very serious problems, but then they tack on that they avoided you because of some bullshit rumor about a site you wouldn’t spit on let alone supposedly “hack”, you have to scratch your fucking head, especially when you’ve been nothing but good to that person.

I have avoided speaking on this because frankly, I don’t give a fuck and didn’t have jackshit to do with it, but since I’m hearing that some fucking idiot is trying to blame me for something I didn’t do, let me put it really plainly.

I didn’t touch anyone’s site, and neither did anyone on my staff. That shit is beneath all of us, particularly when it comes to the site in question. Why would I fucking bother? It would be a waste of my time, particularly when its presence didn’t affect me one way or the other. But that’s what happens when dipshits are given a captive audience; they use the opportunity to talk dumb shit.

I can say more on the subject, but I won’t because even entertaining it this long is 3 minutes of my life that I can’t get back, but I thought it was about time I let shit be known. Anyone who thinks I did anything can go fuck themselves with a broken bottle, and that friend, well I guess you weren’t that much of one, now were you?