Beyond Redemption

Let me make this clear.

My updates usually take a while, and as a result, some people have chosen to stop reading them or wait until they’re completed to read them. That’s their choice (and if they’re waiting for completion, well, I sincerely hope they make the member list when Absolution goes private or they’ll never read the endings) and I’m fine with either one.

But if my updates take too long and you’re pissed off about that, keep it to yourself because I don’t want to hear it. Those who read this blog have a small idea of what I’m going through in my personal life, but trust me when I say it’s small. I still update for no other reason than to provide entertainment for you guys.

My pleasure for writing IY fic diminished ages ago. I don’t have to update. I don’t owe anyone anything, truth be told. I still do it because I care and I want to provide conclusions for the stories you’ve loved and given your time to.

So when you visit my site and leave a review, do me -and yourself- a favor by minding your fucking manners. Don’t assume that you can complain to me and I’ll apologize to you for it because you’d be sadly mistaken. The only thing you’ll get from me are choice words and an invitation to leave and never return. On my homepage it clearly states “DON’T PISS ME OFF.” Those are words to live by if you intend to stick around. And if you don’t, buh-bye. It’s been a slice.

To those who left such funny and “heartbroken” reviews: Glomps.
I always appreciate your kindness and I loved your reactions. So cute. <3 Now, onto important news. Absolution will be going private in March. The member list will become available sometime after my birthday on Friday. That’s when you guys will get to see if your name is posted and contact me for your passwords. If your name is not listed, then either you reviewed under a name I can’t use on the site, or you never reviewed regularly, if at all, and didn’t make the cut. If you are a reviewer and didn’t get on the list, you’ll be given a chance to e-mail me with certain info, and provided it checks out, you’ll be added to the list and all will be well. If you never reviewed, but intend to start and be consistent with it, you can note me and ask for an account. (I don’t bite, so no need to be bashful about it). That is all. Happy Sunday.

I got no writing done. I was already feeling shitty toward it since last week, and then doing Kouga/Rin just sucked the life out of me (Two characters I really can’t stand. They may even surpass my disgust or SessKags and that’s saying something), and people have been pissing me off all week with their nonsense and unnecessary snark.

I’m tired of a lot of people and tired of dealing with their childish bullshit. I’m not going to get all into specifics here, but I do know that I’m going to start cutting people off. I keep to myself in fandom, tbh. I don’t go out of my way to get chummy with people because they always end up proving to me that it was mistake. Every. Fucking. Time. It’s depressing, so I just “do me and fuck you” (so to speak). But yeah, scissor time is closing in.

I’ve dealt with enough assholes out here, and it’s to a point that I’ve yanked myself off the radar with the exception of my website and Deviant Art. Why? Because I want to be left alone. I want to write for the people who support my work and avoid every other dipshit who wants to “know” me for some petty, ulterior reason. If you’re my friend, then BE my fucking friend and don’t give me grief, don’t bring me snark because you want to be “cute” and feel “clever”, don’t attempt to use me or my so-called “name” for anything, because trust, I’m just like everyone else -an IY fan. There’s no “magic” to it. Sorry.

In other words, don’t go out of your way to make me dismiss you because I’m good to all my friends and I’m sick of tolerating less than the same, aight? I’m done with that. I honestly am, and I will cut anyone out of my world completely if I have to think about them negatively more than once ever again.

/Rant.

In nice news, I got my tweaked art back and the header is done. The skin will be up in a few days (been lazy this weekend), hopefully along with an update. However, it could be delayed if I update something that has a new skin waiting for it already. Either way, the new art is ASS-WHOOPING!!! ^_______________^

Here’s to a better week for all of us.

Happy Hump Day, Y’all! xD

I’m in a good fucking mood! I finished Kau’s torturous 16 drabbles last night >.> and I’m working on a new oneshot. I should be getting my slightly revised fanart soon, too, then I will immediately start on the new skin.

I’ve also reopened my LiveJournal. One of my mods, E, chewed on my arm a little and I gave in. I’m a damn pushover! So, if any of y’all use LJ, feel free to friend me (though, I require a lil heads up before I let you in. Too may dipshits in this fandom to have an open blog there, so it’s Friends Only).

That’s really it for now. I’m going to attempt some writing, though I vowed I was going to take the day off from that after all them damn drabbles, but…. we’ll see. And thanks again for the review luv. It was nice to have support, regardless of what it is that I’m writing. ^______^

But I’m a little ticked that my music player isn’t working at my site. Damn it, I like having it play for me in the background! And I watched the original “Wrong Turn” again to celebrate my KR victory -it’s still so good!

The title of that Tokio Hotel song sums it up perfectly today.

I had a not great morning. I finally severed something that had nowhere to go but into the gutter, and honestly, I’m not really about that. If I decide that a friendship is not salvageable, I’d rather walk away. I don’t want to take them to the black places I can go, because if I did, that means that I never cared about them at all. So, I took my talons to what was left, and it’s now as if I never knew that person, and that’s better for both of us in the long run.

But as always, the timing was just right. Tomorrow is gram’s birthday, but I won’t let any of this bring me down. I’m going to post for her like I always do, and I’m going to enjoy the day as best I can with my friends and lovelies. I may even get the last chapter of my OC fic up.

My carpal is still acting up. I’m typing slowly to avoid aggravation (which is why this last chap is taking a while.), but is IS coming along with several others. I feel freer with the writing than I have in a while and I plan to capitalize while the inspiration is here.

Again, if you’re a regular at redemp and you want the password to the “goodie” bags, shoot me a note. I am never going to post those things publicly, so a PW from me is the only way you’ll get in.

Happy Tuesday!

This week has been interesting, to say the least, and I’ve come to a few decisions.

Lately, people around me have been trippin’ and I have no idea why. I stay out of people’s shit, period. I try not to take sides, or get involved in any way because I’ve got problems of my own. Plus, I’m really a “live and let live” person. If you didn’t do anything to me personally, I have no reason to hate on you. It’s just too bad that some will look at that stance like I’m being intentionally distant, or whatever, when the truth is that I just don’t want to be in any shit storms that have jackbone to do with me. Really, who does?

That said, as just about everyone knows, I all but left LiveJournal around March of 2009. My last real post there was on my birthday when I thanked everyone for the wonderful gifts and for remembering a Grrrl. Right after that, I opened this wordpress and I haven’t been there since other than to wish happy birthdays. I haven’t seen my f-list in about 6 months, and when I do show up there, it’s to deal with InuRomp and Challenge Destiny. In fact, I think y’all know that I purged my LJ some time ago. At least No-No knows because she asked me about it on here. I did that because I have an aversion to LJ and I always have.

The shit that goes on there is epically stupid, and I’m not in high school. Grown women trippin’ isn’t fun for me, and since I only wrote for one community for a short time and haven’t posted anything there since, my only reason for keeping that account is for the comms I run. And in case y’all didn’t know (prolly not), I’m leaving InuRomp when this fall challenge I started with Salome is over next month. She’s leaving as well and we’re passing it to a couple of great members who are happy and excited about running it. This decision was made about 2 months ago, because like I said, I don’t have a reason to be on LJ.

As for ED’s community, that, I plan to keep, provided there is interest within the membership come June. However, I can run that with my mods from the ED LiveJournal account. InuGrrrl does not have to have an LJ in order to do her duties there, so she won’t.

Yes, I’m closing my LiveJournal account as soon as I comfortably can. I want absolutely nothing to do with that place or anything that happens there anymore. It’s not worth it. And know this, when I close it I’m going to say so and if anyone EVER tries to friends you as me, DO NOT FRIEND THEM BACK BECAUSE IT WILL NOT BE ME.

And there will be other changes. As some of you know, I’ve been trying to inch out of the Feudal Association for a while now, which is why there is a mod’s group in place -to take over. I have since told them that they need a new webmistress/master. It doesn’t look like any effort has been made to find one, and that’s going to be sad, because I’m not doing it this term. I’m too busy and I made it known that I was stepping down from the site 2 months ago. So, I can only hope that someone will be interested in building a new site for them.

Then, there is The Boiler Room (my yaoi site). I’ve been mulling it over, and I think I’m going to close it. I built it with someone specific in mind, and through no fault of her own, she all but had to leave fandom/writing and, for me, it hasn’t been the same since. I mean, it’s a pretty little site with a few members, but overall, I don’t see a real reason to keep it open. It’s not nearly as busy as ED, and with the domain needing renewing in a few months, it may be the opportune time to send out the warning letters to the authors and close up shop.

I’m also closing my account at Y! Gallery. I’m never there, and ever since I had a little incident there some months back over the STUPIDEST SHIT EVER, it was just another nail in the coffin for this fandom. People are just… yeah. So, I’m closing that account today. I’m also closing my account at that hentai site, and paper demon, and loads of other places. I have no need of them, and at this point, I’m withdrawing and retreating into my own shit, anyway. I own a slew of websites; I don’t need to be anywhere else. Everyone I care about, and who cares about me, knows how to find me when they need me. All this other shit is just that -shit- and I’m done with it.

EDIT: Apparently, Y Gal doesn’t let you delete an account. So I just deleted all my fics from there and removed all my personal stuff. I also contacted the owner of Paper Demon -after deleting all my stuff- and asked her to close my account there. I just closed my Hentai Foundry account. Squee! I’m on a fucking roll.

I’m serious about withdrawing from fandom, in an overall sense, and just keeping with my own sites and the people that still want to read my fics on MY site. I may even close my ff.net account. I’m deliberating that one, though, because I try to stay conscious of the feelings of the people that have taken the time to read and review my work there. It’s a shitty site, no question, that has provided a safe haven for plagiarists (I know because I was plagiarized there 4 times). But I try really hard not to sweep everyone with a broad stroke. So, I may finish updating whatever I started there, but I won’t be submitting any brand new stories.

And last but not least, I know y’all have seen me mention it a few times, but I really am deliberating closing Absolution to the general public and pretty much giving house keys to my friends, and the lovelies that take the time to review.

Why? Because honestly, I don’t like the idea of having 400 people read a chapter in 2 days time and not review or let me know who they are in any way. I don’t think it would kill anyone to say what they may have enjoyed about the chap, but more to the point, I don’t like the idea of nameless, faceless masses being inside my personal archive.

One of the fictions that was stolen -twice- is Rebound, and the second time it happened, it was only posted on Absolution. That means that someone came directly into my house and stole from me, and I’m sorry, but that fucking infuriated me. If someone can’t refrain from stealing, or even better, leave a review just to set my mind at ease about who was in my house, then why am I letting them in?

That said, like I mentioned a minute ago, I try to stay conscious of the feelings of people that read my work. That’s why this new poll is up. If you visit this blog, then vote and give me an idea of what you’re thinking. Trust me, I’m taking it all into consideration.

Last, I’m writing again (as y’all have seen) and I’m doing as much as I can while my brain is being nice to me. I haven’t even been to facebook in the last few days, so I can tell that I’m getting my shit together and getting back into finishing my fics. That’s why it’s important that I start seeing something from my readers. I really don’t want to lock the castle doors and have people miss out on updates for fics they’ve invested their time in. However, I will, if it’s a question of protecting my house.

I guess New Year’s resolutions are coming early.

EDIT: My LiveJournal has been deleted. Y’all know how to find me when you need me! 😛

You know, I keep a small inner circle. They’re my road dawgs that I tell just about everything to because they have my trust that way. But when one of them vanishes, albeit due to their own very real, and very serious problems, but then they tack on that they avoided you because of some bullshit rumor about a site you wouldn’t spit on let alone supposedly “hack”, you have to scratch your fucking head, especially when you’ve been nothing but good to that person.

I have avoided speaking on this because frankly, I don’t give a fuck and didn’t have jackshit to do with it, but since I’m hearing that some fucking idiot is trying to blame me for something I didn’t do, let me put it really plainly.

I didn’t touch anyone’s site, and neither did anyone on my staff. That shit is beneath all of us, particularly when it comes to the site in question. Why would I fucking bother? It would be a waste of my time, particularly when its presence didn’t affect me one way or the other. But that’s what happens when dipshits are given a captive audience; they use the opportunity to talk dumb shit.

I can say more on the subject, but I won’t because even entertaining it this long is 3 minutes of my life that I can’t get back, but I thought it was about time I let shit be known. Anyone who thinks I did anything can go fuck themselves with a broken bottle, and that friend, well I guess you weren’t that much of one, now were you?