Beyond Redemption

So, it’s no secret that I haven’t been writing. I haven’t felt like it. Seriously. Couldn’t find the motivation for the last few weeks, and the past few days I’ve been a bit sick, so I’m just blah and out of it. But today, randomly looking at stuff on Ebay, I saw an InuYasha figure I hadn’t seen before. Needless to say, I wanted it immediately.

Did some research and found out that figurine was from the boxset for season 7 (One of 2 that I didn’t have). You know what I did, ne? I hunted that shit down. See, I have all of the boxsets, save for 7 and 4 (I never got 4 because I couldn’t find the deluxe and I kinda forgot about 7). But today I got lucky. I found 7 and 4, both in deluxe.

My search for InuYasha made me nostolagic, so I read the first volume of the ani-manga (The first three eps will probably always be my favorite) and it reminded me of why I love this character so much then and now. He’ll always be a part of me -an important part.

InuYasha: My eternal first love. ♥ ♥ ♥

I was really sick on Friday. The kind of sick that keeps you in bed all day long and contemplating a visit to the ER. I’m feeling a bit better now, but not 100%. I’m so sick of this shit, for real. I want one day where something isn’t fucking haywire.

Thursday night I actually got a tiny bit of writing done. I’m hoping to do a bit more tonight, but it probably won’t be much since I’m still recovering. Sigh. I wasn’t happy with what I had, either, but I’m not going to complain too much. The words don’t want to come at all, so beggars can’t be choosy! For a while, chapters may be kind of uneventful, or even dry, but that’s because I’m forcing it now ’cause I have no choice. >.> Yay.

I also popped in at one of my favorite Industrial artist’s website, Assemblage23, and bought a bunch of music. Apparently, he had his own label and had some good acts signed to it. Two of which are, Lost Signal and Espermachine. They’re both fucking awesome (If you like stuff like VNV Nation or Seabound, or Covenent, you’ll like these guys), so expect to hear them on Absolution shortly. Assemblage23 also covered one of my favorite 80’s songs, “Love My Way” by the Psychedelic Furs and it sounds so neat! The digital albums were super cheap, too, and it was nice to support some of my indie groups, especially Assemblage23, whom I love!

Oh, and kau bought me a new computer chair and a back massage thingy that fits into the chair. How awesome is she??? We don’t like the chair much, so I’m debating sending it back. The site wasn’t that forthcoming about the thing and we’re a little unhappy with it in person. The massage thingy, I’ll keep and see how it works out.

Okay, gonna try a bit of writing and see how it goes.

P.S. Wanna read the translation of the new InuYasha drama CD?
It’s actually cute… even if they did make InuYasha look like an idiot. Again.

I haven’t updated since the verdict that only a fucktard would agree with. I’ve spent my time in real life and on facebook, along with reading old works and hashing out some plots. I haven’t actually started pounding the keys yet, but I will. Been reading some het/shoujo manga, too, to get me in the mood. Cause, let’s face it, some of my stuff is shoujo-ish. Like If I Want To. Hee.

I’ve been checking out a lot of InuYasha fanart (kinda nice that new stuff is still coming out), and while much of it is just lovely, I can say with certainty that I prefer my version of InuYasha: Street wise, badass, modern, and drop dead gorgeous. Like my anniversary art. ( •ॢ◡-ॢ)-♡

I know some people despise that kind of alternate universe thing, but that’s their fucking business. I love it. My readers enjoy it. So, what haters and purists think is probably on the lowest rung on my ‘give-a-shit’ meter. When I look at my art, I get inspired to write and that’s what matters.
(｡´ ‿｀♡) Don’t like it? Don’t look at it. Trust me, it’s not gonna change my day in the slightest, and since my sites are private and relatively off the map, you won’t see my shit unless you’re specifically searching for it. Makes me all squishy inside! ♡o｡.(✿ฺ｡ ✿ฺ)

Anyway, I think I may go do a bit of that Yasha-lovin’ right now! 😀
Ciao bellas!

EDIT: Threw together a skin today. It will probably post later on.

Can you guess what I’m thinking of?

For those who didn’t know, on Febuary 6th, Rumiko Takahashi will be releasing a new InuYasha oneshot (As part of diaster relief thing for Japan along with several other mangakas). It will take place after the epilogue, but I don’t think you guys should hold your breath for a kiss, kids, or any advancement of that sort.

<.< But according to this new scan that’s floating around you can look forward to Kagome and her annoying fucking ‘sit command’.

I don’t see the kotodama as their ‘bond’ the way some do. It wasn’t made by Kagome, nor was she the one to give it to him. That necklace is from Kikyou, who had an altogether different word for its use and never should have been placed around his neck -for long. I understand the need in the beginning; Yashie was wildin’ out at first. But when it became abundantly clear that he was all about protecting Kagome, it should have been done away with, rather than used as her personal punishing device. If he was doing that to her, there’d be a fucking uproar about abuse. But since he’s the one getting put on his face at her will, I guess that’s love and comedy relief, eh? Yeah.

Anyway…

I admit, it’s nice to see new InuYasha, even if I dislike the canon story. I wish RT’s art had improved and looked good like it did when the manga first started, but no such luck. Kagome still looks average, and InuYasha, not awesome enough, but it beats a blank, as my mama would say. Plus, we know that there are great artists in IY who will do them the justice that she never does, right?

Welcome back, baby, even if it’s for a short while…

Now, in fanfiction news…

I’m working on updates, but I’m telling you up front that it’s not The Neighbor, IF I Want To, MPR, KOR, or GFE. When I do update, it’s usually one of those and I’ve left many fics left behind without an update for a year or more. They need my attention, too, so that’s what I’m working on. If you’re disappointed by that, sorry, but I do have people, however few in number, who’d like to see endings to those stories as well, and for hanging in there as long as they have, I’m going to start taking care of them with updates when I can.

EDIT: The new InuYasha oneshot is out!
It’s in Chinese, but so what! Take a peek -and I’ll post links when I find it in English! ^__^

EDIT II: Ugh. Just ugh. This was nothing more than a ‘lost’ chapter. No development between them whatsoever; they still look like platonic friends, hunting demons. And she couldn’t resist showing Kikyou, even if it’s just for a second. Utterly disappointing, but wildly EXPECTED of Takahashi. Oh well. Back to fanfic.

EDIT III: Just read a translated script from the Chinese manga version. OMFG, this woman continues to disappoint me every step of the way. She still manged to make the entire chapter about Kikyou. It’s ridiculous and it’s exactly why I hate the canon and will never follow anything else Rumiko Takahashi creates. I could just really spew on about this, but I won’t. I’m finished here, seriously; this update was a waste of my time.

Tell me that won’t make you smile on your shittiest day….

I Feel Loved! xD

This was a super-fucking-awesome birthday. It really was and I didn’t even do much today. I spent a good deal of the day with Kau online and thanking all the awesome people who remembered and acknowledged my day. What an honor! So, thank you guys so much. I really appreciate it! <333 I also got some really GREAT gifts and I was so surprised and happy!! Shall I share? Yeah, I think I will! 😛 My kau sent me a goodie box from Louisiana that contained caramel monkey bread, white chocolate truffles, tons of candy, a set of Hello Kitty figurines from Japan, TWO Daryl action figures (from The Walking Dead), TWO Kevin Woo videos (SQUEE!), and some cute and funny art. However, the art is private and I won't be displaying it anywhere. That's why she's my best Kau -she rocks!! My awesome sister, Neo, had a Human -canon- InuYasha commissioned for me and it's so cute! The artist did really well, especially with the background. She also made me a bunch of Kevin graphics and I FUCKING LOVE THEM! WAAAAAH!!!!ONEONE! My totally BEAST little sister, Am, got me an iTunes GC and made me a killer wallpaper of guess who?! KEVIN WOO -INUYASHA- ZERO KIRYUU!!!!!! \o/ To say I screamed and bounced around like a child is an understatement. Those are the 3 guys I love the most, so I’m pretty damn stoked! She knows my passion!!

The sweet and talented, Cati-Art, Blackorchid2007, and InuKagomeluvrs, and Moniquiu all made me these GORGEOUS Human InuYasha piccies that I just ADORE!! All three are just too cute and sexy. WAAAH! Love them!

My wonderfully talented nee-chan gave me the gift of coloring my Knife of Romance lineart that Sarah created, and oh yeeeeeeeeah. You guys are gonna like what you see! *slurp*

Over at Deviant Art, aside from the giftart, I got some cake badges, llamas, and a bunch of birthday well wishes from my buds and watchers. Same at Facebook -and it was really nice to be remembered.

As a gift to myself, I got a dozen cupcakes from my favorite bakery on EARTH. Wanna check ’em out? This’ll do you no good if you don’t live in New York City, though. 😛 Sugar Sweet Sunshine . Their pistachio cupcakes are to DIE for. *drool*

I also got U-KISS’ latest CD (you’re hearing one of the new songs now), which was one of the best gifts ever! I even learned all the Japanese lyrics to “Forbidden Love” -my favorite U-KISS song to date! <3 And last, but not least, I finally treated myself to an iPod Touch. I had a classic all this time and never really considered switching since it works perfectly. But I changed my mind and it's an awesome little device. But again, this is Apple. Of course it's awesome! xD Mhmm. The day was pretty fucking awesome. \(^o^)/ I'll be posting all my gifts to the gallery tomorrow because I’m just too damn tired to do it tonight. right now except for the personal u-kiss graphics that Neo made for me. And big, heartfelt thanks to everyone who remembered me today! I shan’t forget you when it counts! o.~

And yes, there will be writing this weekend. And when it’s ready to post, you’ll be treated to a new, sexy skin that I know you guys will love! Then, there will be another skin after that! I may also work on Knife of Romance early and treat you to that art, too! 😀

Btw, the member list will become available by Sunday, then you guys will have a chance to start getting passwords and so on. If you’re new to the site, read the instructions for applying for an account carefully because I’m going to delete requests if you don’t mail me everything that I asked for.
That’s about it!

Happy Saturday!

Is when people do this:

“Hey grrl!”
(cause the name must always be spelled incorrectly)

“How come you like Human InuYasha instead of Hanyou? He’s just SOOOOOO hot! I can’t understand it!”

Or side B.

“How come you don’t do canon stories?! AU makes them so OOC… You really should make X, Y, Z…”

Seriously, keep it fucking moving. I really mean that shit.

I’ve been getting asked those asinine questions for 6 years and I’m tired of it.

Why don’t I like the hanyou? I’m not into bestiality.

Why do you?

It’s just stupid to me that the ongoing consensus seems to be that there is something incredibly abnormal about preferring his human side, or some crime is being committed when you don’t want to be enslaved to canon.

EYE. FUCKING. ROLL.

I love Hanyou InuYasha. That’s how I met him.
I love Demon InuYasha. He’s fucking YUM.

But my fangirl heart belongs to HUMAN INUYASHA. There is no “why” and I don’t have to explain myself. But as someone who has, and always will, prefer brunettes, his dark hair and gray eyes “do it” for me.

And another true statement: I’m not really into his ears. The fangs and claws are sexy, but not the ears. A lot of manga and anime characters have animal ears and I think they’re unattractive. I tolerate it on InuYasha because I adore him, but that’s a big motivator in my love for his human side.

Why settle for traits I don’t care about when I can get everything I want with his human side?

Honestly, who here is really going to be a ready and willing participant with a guy who has ears like a dog in real life? That would be sick, not to mention gross.

Why don’t I write canon fic? I’ll make it easy. I dislike the canon story. I still haven’t read the full manga and I don’t think I ever will. Aside from most of it being fucking boring and long, long-winded, the “triangle” sickened me so much it made the entire story lousy. Are there a few parts that may have made me smile? Oh yes. Yasha is divine. But the other 80% I can take or leave, and as an author, I prefer to leave it. So, yeah, I don’t like Rumiko’s story that much, but I love many of her characters.

It happens all the time, so get over it.

I prefer alternate universe. I want worlds that I created and situations that I brought to life. I’m not, nor will I ever be, interested in picking up where Rumiko left off. I don’t want to use her story as my “jump off” point. I can make my own. And I do. I only borrow her characters, and since I openly assassinate characterizations, I bring them as close to an original as I can get them. Some may see that as “betraying” the “spirit” of the IY story, but I couldn’t care less what a purist thinks. I already said that I don’t like the manga story. Do you and leave me the hell alone. Last time I checked, speech and expression were free in my country.

That goes for art as well. I don’t commission canon things. Why would I ever? Are some gorgeously done? Hell yes. I’ve seen lots and lots that are drool worthy. But, for my $$$, it will always be AU. Even when I choose to make him silver and gold with fangs, claws, and ears.

I’m simply doing what makes me happy -just like everyone else.

Human InuYasha. (With the occasional hanyou)
Alternate Universe.
No Limits.

So, that’s why I reject canon.
Maybe now those stupid questions won’t get asked again.

/rant

So, it’s probably not a shock that I’ve been a bit out of it as far as fandom stuff is concerned. I haven’t been feeling like writing. I did, at first, and got a bit done, but it started to fall away -again- and I haven’t really picked up my pen since. I think -and I say this sadly- that I’m feeling the first real stirrings of dropping fanfic for good. I just don’t see it as fun anymore. I appreciate the feedback that people have left and the encouragement; I wouldn’t have done it this long if it wasn’t for y’all.

But there is another side: The plagiarism -whether verbatim, in bits and pieces- the ganking of my ideas and writing style, the times when no one reviews, thus never letting me know if the chapter was even enjoyed or appreciated. The demanding, “When are you going to update?!” in rude tones that would suggest that they have a right to ever demand that of me. And the BS of this fandom as a whole. It just isn’t fun anymore, but even with that said, I’m still going to try to keep the deadline I mentioned before, giving me several months to get some stories done for those that have shown me luv. Then, I’m done. I think it’s best that way because I find myself moving farther away from InuYasha, especially when everything everyone does seems to revolve around the canon story, which I absolutely loathe. I don’t want to read canon fic ever again. Therefore, most fanfics on a whole are of no interest to me.

Anyway, that was all off course from what I was originally going to write. Heh. 😛
But I wanted to explain why I’m not updating and why I’m losing interest in InuYasha in general.

Anyway, my Kau made a new video to cheer me up. See, now that I’m going past InuYasha to read other manga (that actually make sense to me, with the exception of Vampire Knight), I’ve developed new “loves”. So she gathered them up and made a new AMV for me featuring the 4 new boys on my hit-list. All of these mangas are finished (except VK), but still, they at least gave me more to chew on than IY canon. >.> But best of all, she used my new favorite song! It’s actually an old song, but it’s new to me. lol.

Check it out if you want, and yeah, I will update soon. Just keep in mind that the updates will suck for a while because they’ll be completely forced. Completely. But if I don’t force it, you may never see an update and I don’t think anyone wants that (yet).

Da Other Menz

I got a note today from another author that I like and respect. She’s leaving fanfiction and took a minute to tell me and say goodbye. I won’t say her name because this is her private business; she’ll announce it if she chooses to. But I feel awful. Seriously. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve never felt closer to doing that myself these days, or if it’s because anyone “leaving” just feels terrible after having so many people of note die in my life. Not that she’s dying or anything remotely close, but it is the death of something, you know?

In any case, her presence will be missed and I’m glad that anime gave me a chance to meet her, and many other people that I’ve come to like and admire. I guess, for once, the rumors are true. The good authors are walking away. Makes me wonder who’s next, and if that someone is me.